Another One Bites The Dust / Happenings In The Outhouse 12-June-2026

 

Yup!  It happened again!

First, I am going to link back to these two blog posts, one from two years ago and the other back from 2017.  Here they are:

Views From The Outhouse: The Toxic Mix of Politics And Entertainment Creators / Happenings In The Outhouse 01-March-2024

Views From The Outhouse: The anatomy of a jerk / Happenings In The Outhouse 27-Jan-2017

Well, it happened again.  A few weeks ago now as I write this (I typically write these a few weeks in advance, although the posts I've done lately on the short stories were done over a series of months) someone in the music industry now came forward and dishearteningly made a statement on them not participating in an event to celebrate . . . well, let's put it this way, instead of writing on the nose about this one and publicly stating who it is, let me just share that it's a leader of a band that I have been a huge fan of, and follower of, for decades.  Yes, decades!

All the way back to the mid-1980s rock scene, mind you.  Probably one of my favorite bands--if not my favorite.

Not any longer.

I unfollowed them.  Everywhere.  From all social media and even Spotify.

Am I being petty?

Maybe.  But as other entertainers have stated lately, entertainers entertain.  That's it.  Like me.  I'm a writer.  I write.  I write to entertain.  That's it.  Do not ask me my political opinion.  I will not state it publicly.  I do have views, I do have values.

I am just not going to share it.  There are better things to do.

Greener pastures revisited / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-Feb-2025

Last week, I touched on this subject of always looking elsewhere, never sticking with one thing, even though it's working.  Keep in mind, it may not be working as fast as you wish, but there is truly nothing long term for those seeking quick riches.

Many years ago, I sought out literary agents through query letters, for possible representation to publish my novels.  I repeated the process over and over again.

Then, I heard about self-publishing and was curious about it.  I researched it--I read about vanity presses and didn't want to go down that route--and then decided to dip my toes into the self-publishing waters in April 2012.  It was a small nonfiction book, but at the same time I was still writing and submitting with minimal success.

Once I dipped my toe in and researched more on it, I tried one last push for an agent, even connecting with them on social media . . . but in the end I self-published my books and have never looked back.

Will this work for everyone?

Everyone's path to success is different.  But when something doesn't work right away, don't dismiss it right away.

Some things take longer than others.

Patience . . .

Identifying Weaknesses / Happenings In The Outhouse 30-Aug-2024

"What is your greatest weakness?"

This is a loaded interview question because one doesn't want to admit they have a weakness.

However, if there are weaknesses that you can overcome, all the better.  On one hand, if I had a deep passion to be a top NBA player but I'm only five foot nine and have minimal basketball skills, my chances are pretty much nil.  On the other hand, if I have a fear of public speaking, I can take lessons and work to overcome them.

Sometimes it is difficult to identify your weaknesses.  Ask for feedback and don't get upset by the results.

Speaking of public speaking, I joined Toastmasters through my employer to help with my public speaking skills.  I won't divulge the various ways Toastmasters can help with this, as there are so many aspects of public speaking that one may not be aware of.  One aspect for me is essentially troubling, but it is a task I am willing to overcome with practice.  And Toastmasters helps me with that.

When you look at your weaknesses, try and discover a weakness that is realistic and that you can overcome.  Create baby steps to overcome it, to turn the weakness into either a strength or something that isn't so daunting.

Lessons Learned From Hell's Kitchen / Happenings In The Outhouse 05-Jan-2024

My girlfriend and I have been watching the Gordon Ramsey show Hell's Kitchen for the past few months.  We started with the latest two seasons, 19 and 20, then went back to the beginning.  It is interesting to see how the show has evolved over the years, season after season.

Now, full disclosure, my girlfriend has already seen most seasons of the show, and loves to see my reaction to who eventually wins each season when she knew typically about halfway through the season.  We are currently on season 10, and there are things I notice that each contestant of the show should learn.

Keep in mind, it's a reality TV show, which means it's not real.  Not reality.  Many things are set up for entertainment purposes, so a lot of the drama and back-stabbing I get is not real.

I wrote a blog post almost twelve years ago that delved into this very topic, about learning by watching TV.

Now, what we have learned so far is this:

First: never talk back to Gordon Ramsey.  Never.  No matter what.  Trust me, you'll regret it if you do.

Second: learn to take criticism.  He will call you every name in the book, but you should never take it personally.  He is testing you, to see how well you can take criticism.

Third: work hard and communicate.

Fourth: if you lost a certain challenge and need to do some awful task, do it with dignity and stop complaining.  All you're doing is making yourself look like a whiny prick if you do.  Also, when someone wins a challenge, be happy for them and keep working.

Fifth: if you win a challenge, it doesn't mean you are the absolute best.  And do not gloat over you winning the challenge.

Sixth: tell the truth.  Ramsey wants to hear the truth, short and sweet.

Seventh: stop victim blaming.  The reason a dish or dinner service didn't go as planned is just as much your fault as others.  Take it in the chin and move on.

Eighth: if something isn't the best, do not send it up to Ramsey.  Meaning, if you know something is under or overcooked, tell him immediately.  Communicate!

I'm sure there will be others that come up, but these are the top eight I can think of at the moment.  Now take these lessons into the rest of your life.

P.S.: Rest In Peace Petrozza.

Didn't Impress Me Much / Happenings In The Outhouse 10-Nov-2023

I was going to dedicate this post to the subject of suicide, but will hold off on that topic until next week.

This past weekend, my girlfriend and I went to a concert by a country music icon, a queen of country so to speak.  Tickets were bought almost a year ago, and we had anticipated how great this concert was going to be.

Well . . . not sugar-coating this, the queen didn't impress us much.

This brings up the point of either not accepting feedback or not being supplied the correct feedback on your art.  Sure, something you create may not be for everyone.  And that's okay.  But when there are repeated suggestions on what's missing (or whatever), then maybe you should listen.

I feel bad for Shania Twain's band.  They played their heart out, and at the end of the day it was Shania's poor performance that will linger on in people's minds.

Handling Feedback / Happenings In The Outhouse 22-Sept-2023

No matter how you receive feedback, how you handle it is what matters.

You can choose to dismiss it.

You can choose to embrace it.

You can take it personally or not.

You can use it as a learning experience.

I recently got a piece of feedback on one of my submitted stories that wasn't quite rosy.  But I embraced it and used it as a learning experience to better future stories.

How do you handle feedback/criticism?  Be honest with yourself.

Watch Your Mouth / Happenings In The Outhouse 09-June-2023

Beware of what you say to others.

I recently came upon someone's rant about being so busy with their business that they didn't know if they'd have time to get everything done in time as well as spend quality time with their family.  My first thought when I saw this was, "Well, that can easily be fixed.  No one does business with you.  There.  Done."

I looked at the comments--no, I didn't comment and never would--and so many people gave this person feedback like "It's so great that you're business is going so well."  Even the person's spouse gave them moral support.

I also had someone tell me something similar in person.  My mind raced with similar thoughts of "Well, it must be nice to have such a thriving business."  But again I said nothing.

If you truly need to rant about something, find one person (in confidence) that you can lean on.  And do it in private.  Maybe you're looking for a solution?  Or maybe you're just looking to rant?  God could even be that One to lean on and ask for a solution or guidance.

Again, watch what you say.  You never know who may be listening/reading your rant.

Outside The Comfort Zone / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-March-2023

The best way to grow as a person is to do things outside of your comfort zone.

Now, this may seem easy for one to say, but not so easy to action.  Unless you make it a habit.  Make a habit of going outside your comfort zone.  My girlfriend and I go on frequent date nights--at least once a week, if possible.  When we go to a restaurant, I look for something I haven't had before.  One of our favorite restaurants in a nearby town I have had most items on the menu.  We have also gone to a variety of concerts, from heavy metal to country western.  Now, honestly, country isn't my thing, but I do love music in general.  And those country artists I have seen have certainly put on a great show.

Last week, we went to see the 80's heavy metal band Skid Row.  They have a new lead singer, Erik Gronwall, who was absolutely amazing!  I vividly recall the first time I listened to Skid Row with their former singer Sebastian Bach.  I didn't think the new guy would hold up to Bach.  Boy, was I wrong!

Even my current work-in-progress is outside of my comfort zone.  It is a middle grade novel and there are times I want to add something but given the potential audience I write it a little differently.  I'm not writing down to the audience--that's a huge no-no in my book, no pun intended.

I am also on the church council of the church I attend.  This is my second year and this year I am on a committee that is allowing me to stretch as a Christian.  At work, I am intentionally doing things that are outside of my comfort zone to stretch my mental muscles.

Find areas that give you pause and go forth with gusto!  If you've never gone grocery shopping, do it.  If you've never flown on an airplane, do it.  If you've always wanted to write a book, what's stopping you?  In the words of Nike . . . just do it!

Stupid Questions and Brain Farts / Happenings In The Outhouse 03-March-2023

"Can I ask you a stupid question?"

For me, the stupidest question is the one that's never asked.  I've held this notion for as far back as I can remember.  I've had numerous people come up to me, asking if they could ask a stupid question.  I always respond back in kind, repeating my mantra of what the stupidest question is.

99 times out of 100, the question is actually quite profound and I tell them so.  The look of shock makes me chuckle.

But what about the 1 time?  The 1 time out of 100 when the question is, what one would consider, stupid?  I keep that to myself.  I never tell them that the question could be considered stupid.  It could just be a brain fart--when you know the answer, but can't quite remember.  And just because I may feel it is stupid doesn't mean it is.  Ask it anyway.

Be brave to ask questions.  I maybe don't do it enough myself.  My method of learning is to sit back and let the knowledge soak into me like a water into a sponge.

So go ahead and ask your questions.

Just because you may think they're stupid doesn't mean someone else isn't wondering the same and is afraid to ask.

From A Widow's POV / Happenings In The Outhouse 10-Feb-2023

Last weekend, my girlfriend and I watched the movie "A Man Called Otto" starring Tom Hanks.

Given that we both had lost spouses, and from what we heard about Tom Hank's character, we had reservations about the movie since the character Otto was a widow, but we knew it would be good.  And it certainly was!  One of the better movies we had seen since Top Gun 2, which was also amazing!

Looking at the world through the lens of a widow/widower is not easy for some and not quite so difficult for others.  Both of us seem to be in the former camp now, as we have strong values when it comes to how we view death.

We are both Christians and with that comes a strong sense of faith and belief that death is not permanent.  We will both see our former spouses again in Heaven one day.  And that is not to say we do not grieve our former spouses.  We do.  But with our values, we have found a way to move on and live life the way God wants us to.

On a side note, there was an element to the movie that gave me pause on a personal note, and it will be a topic that I will dive into down the road.  I'm just not ready at the moment.  That topic is suicide.

But that, my friends, will be for another day.

Filling Big Shoes / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-June-2022

A sales manager recently lamented on the fact that he had some big shoes to fill when he took over for someone with over a dozen years of experience.  A new pastor at a local church lamented similar feelings in regards to the predecessor with over three decades of experience.

Those with such tenured experience may appear to others that their job was easy, while one forgets that they too were also in the same boat as the new manager and pastor, just several years ago.

Forgive yourself.

Learn.

And move onward.

Things take time.  As the old adage goes: Rome wasn't built in a day.

As a new parent, one sees their own parents and admires them for all that they've gone through.  But once again, those big shoes weren't filled overnight.  They were honed over years of trial and error.

The same goes for a new artist.  Give yourself grace, try new things, and always keep striving to better yourself.  Those who are accomplished in the field you are aspiring into had their own trials and errors before they hit it big.

You may your own worst critic.

Quit being so hard on yourself.  Give yourself grace.

Again, it takes time.

Patience.

If You Can Do It Better, Do It / Happenings In The Outhouse 27-May-2022

Critics.

People love to criticize the artistic works of others.

Love 'em or hate 'em, there have been critics for as long as humans have walked the Earth.  But some criticize far more than others.

I was listening to a podcast about the upcoming Lord of the Rings series coming to Amazon Prime later this year, and I was struck by how critical the folks were about the process and what story they were using to tell.  It reminded me of the criticism George R. R. Martin has received in regards to finishing his fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire.

The same goes with other successful people, like Rowling and the new fantasy world she has created, and many others.

It drives me crazy when I hear about all the people speculating about this and that about a new series in the Marvel universe or Star Wars universe or whatever.

Me?  I just sit back and enjoy the show when it comes out.  No speculating.  Why?  It's a waste of my time.

I would rather spend my time creating my own worlds than speculating about others outside of my control.  Think about it for a moment.  Would you rather watch the movie unfold or actually be a part of it?

I go with the latter if my money is on the line.  I control my own creations.

Also, and here is the crux of what I'm getting at: if you think you can do better, then go ahead and do it.

Just Publish It / Happenings In The Outhouse 25-Feb-2022

I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and something was said that resonated very well.  The person on the podcast said that he attributed his level of success to this axiom: "just hit send."

Now, he was talking about sending an email about the services his business can provide, but under it all he was talking how we can edit our works over and over again, right to the point of death.  At some point, you just need to be done with it and move on.

The same goes for writers in general.  If you feel the need to edit your "Great American Novel" to death, it will not sound original.  It will not stand out.

And standing out is what you want.

Now, I'm not talking raw works that have no flavor or substances, full of typos and punctuation errors.  There are a variety of editing methods, so use the one that works best for you.  Some of the best authors edit as they go.

But don't "fix" your piece of work too much or else it won't sound original, unique.  Your voice will be missing, and it will sound like everything else.

How much should you edit is up to you, but I caution you to not overdo it.

Myth Of The Small Town / Happenings In The Outhouse 21-Jan-2022

I've been listening to a few true crime podcasts lately (don't I always?) and the same phrase keeps popping up over and over again.

"It was a small town.  A place where everyone knew everyone."

FALSE!  UTTER BS!

I can speak with firsthand knowledge that, no matter how small the town is, no one can possibly know everyone.  Everyone will have a past or desire no one knows about.

Because, in many of the true crime cases, that someone who ends up being the killer is one they didn't suspect.

What does this have to do with writing?  Plenty, my friend.  You see, it all comes down to character development.  Call it creating a "round" character if you wish, but everyone has motives and events in the past no one knows about.

Use that creativity and shape memorable characters.

And please, for the love of God, do not use the phrase "a place where everyone knows everyone" at all.  Strike it from your vocabulary, unless you are making a satirical statement about it.

I have surpassed the 80,000 word mark on my current work-in-progress.  I have a goal to hit PUBLISH by the end of March.  But there is still a lot yet to write, and I am only in the third of four parts to the novel.  So it might be beyond that date.

Setbacks As A Learning Tool / Happenings In The Outhouse 20-Aug-2021

I read an article last week where it addressed the notion of not speaking out on any career setbacks as it may come across in a negative light.  Although I typically don't talk about my day job nor broadcast who my employer is, the article spoke to me as I use my setbacks as a training tool for folks not as far along in their career.

Early on where I work, I applied for a variety of leadership roles.  I always secured an interview with the powers that be, but advancing into leadership didn't seem to be in the cards.  No one could offer any feedback as to why.  I'm not blaming anyone for this.  With our litigious environment in society, messages back to me were vague and offered no direction.

Yes, your typical HR response, in cases.  Again, it was just the nature of the beast as they didn't have a mechanism for feedback.

After receiving the news on someone else being offered the job instead of me, I decided to take a step back and work on improving myself.  I held off on applying again until I learned as much as I could, working hard to better myself and my skills.

Then, a number of years later, a leadership opening in my department prompted me to apply again.  I chatted with the manager and director as I sat down for the interview.  After the first question, which led a fair bit of discussion, they advised me that the current leadership role I was applying for may not be a suitable for me and my talent/skills, but one they were creating had me written all over it and would be thrilled for me to lead in that position.

I accepted.

Don't use the lack of feedback as an excuse not to improve yourself.  Reflect on your current skills as well as the skills needed for what you want to do.  If you want to be better at woodworking, not only throw yourself into experimenting with it but also study those who do woodworking very well.  If you want to be a better painter, same thing.  Auto mechanics or public speaking, also the same.

I do the same with writing.  I've received feedback on what I do well, but I also experiment and study skills I'm lacking.

Strive to learn.

Strive to improve.

And best of all, have fun doing it.

Create instead of criticize / Happenings In The Outhouse 03-Jan-2020

I've never really been one to criticize a creative work (i.e. movie, TV show, book, painting, music).  It either worked or it didn't.  It's something I feel in my gut.  Typically, my criteria is simple: did it entertain me?

Take any of the negative controversy over The Last Jedi.  Sure, there are parts of it that made me scratch my head.  But I enjoyed it.  Heck, it was Star Wars for crying out loud!  I also found Solo: A Star Wars Story as equally entertaining and enjoyable.

It always amazes me the ones who criticize a creative work, and they have never been brave enough to create their own work.  It's possible they're afraid of the same criticism they've bestowed upon others.

I have two words of advice for all the creatives out there: be brave.

Go out there in the new year, the new decade, and create something new.

Write to your readers, not writers / Happenings In The Outhouse 07-June-2019

I watched an interview, by a famous CEO, who said one of the biggest problems companies make is that they focus too much on their competition.

Who should they be focusing on?

Customers.

This makes complete sense.  I follow a number of authors on social media and I chuckle how much they seem to focus on other writers, comparing themselves to be better than other writers.  In fact, they take great pains in critiquing other writers, only to build themselves up.

I have not watched the last season of Game of Thrones, as I do not have HBO and I only watch the shows on DVD.  But I have seen many criticize how the last season was done.  Again, I sit back and chuckle to myself, thinking, "If you think you can do better, do it!"

Honestly, that is what I should have titled this post, and I may expand on that notion next week.

So, to my fellow writers out there, quit focusing on other writers and delight your readers.  Take them on a journey.

The Worst Critics Are Writers (AKA What's Wrong With Prim's Goat?) / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-Mar-2017

For a number of years, I've been listening to writing podcasts where other writers would criticize The Hunger Games and the scene often referred to as "Prim's goat."

Last year, my oldest daughter, who was thirteen at the time, read the book and I made a comment about the scene to her.  I was under the impression this scene of Prim's goat was an entire chapter and stuck out like a sore thumb.  She frowned and told me she couldn't even remember that scene.  So she looked it up.  She eventually found it, shrugged, and asked, "And?  What's wrong with it?"

I didn't know.

Recently, I listened to the entire Hunger Games trilogy on audiobook.  When I got to the scene where Katniss talked about Prim's goat . . . I was disappointed that other writers would take it to heart with such vileness.  In audio form, it was not even five minutes--in page form, um, maybe 2-3 pages tops.

What the hell!  I thought the scene was perfect and fit in the story nicely.

The worst critics seem to be, in fact, other writers.  We are taught to write in a certain way and to do things in a certain way, and when other stories fly in the face of it, writers (not all, mind you, but they are vocal) get their panties up in a bunch.

Honestly, I think they're jealous of others' success when theirs isn't as . . . successful.

I am probably the least panty buncher of them all.  It doesn't take much to entertain me--yes, I was a cheap date during my "dating" years (thank God I don't have to deal with that crap now, as I've been married almost nineteen years).  This past weekend, I rented the new Ghostbusters movie from the library--yes, the one that got all the negative reviews from die hard Ghostbusters fans.  Guess what?  I loved it.  Oh, sure, there were spots that I criticized and thought they could've done a better job or if they didn't work at being clever, but by and large it was a good movie.  My youngest daughter, who is ten, laughed all the way through it.

If you have a beta readers, it may be best for them NOT to be a writer.  Not to say that writers can't offer tips on your story, but find someone who loves to read.  You may be surprised at what you'll hear.  Aside from my writers' group, none of my beta readers are writers.  All are avid readers, and do a wonderful job of pointing out any mistakes I make.

Guest of Honor featured on the Writership Podcast / Happenings In The Outhouse 04-Dec-2015

If you're a writer and aren't listening to the Writership Podcast, I highly recommend you add it to your list.

The Writership Podcast features two accomplished editors, Leslie Watts and Alyssa Archer, in helping indie authors master self-editing skills.  Their weekly show should be the stable of any writer who wishes to improve their skills.

Also, as an added bonus, my novelette Guest of Honor was featured this week on their podcast.  Please click on the link to listen to them critique the opening section of my novelette.

Also, if you haven't picked up Guest of Honor, it is still free . . . but not for much longer.  Here is a link to my website where you can find the e-retailer of your choice: Guest of Honor.

Be thankful of all reviews (even negative ones) / Happenings In The Outhouse 27-Nov-2015

Yesterday, in the United States at least, was the annual Thanksgiving holiday for 2015.

A month or so ago, I got a nasty 2-star review on one of my books.  I don't read much into negative reviews--in fact, most of the time I skim through them and then move on with my life.  Every single book worth its salt has a negative review out there, no matter if it was published today, yesterday, last year, or over a hundred years ago.  To prove it, here is my bad review on Bram Stoker's "Dracula."

Be thankful for reviews, even if they are negative.  This particular 2-star review didn't have much to say, although near the end the reviewer said the reason why they didn't give it a 1-star was because they liked the characters.  I felt good about that one and disagreed with the rest of it.  No harm, no foul.

I am thankful for anyone who reviews my books, good, bad, or otherwise.  You are not going to resonate with everyone.  That's okay.  Be thankful there are people who do.

Oh, by the way, this particular reviewer who gave me a 2-star review didn't seem to like very many books.  When I looked at other books, most were 1 and 2-star reviews.  And, no, I will not provide a link to the review.  I've moved on with my life and am still writing.

I am just thankful for being able to do what I love to do.

As a final note, I have some exciting news next week.  Stay tuned . . .