Ricky Gervais and After Life (Netflix) / Happenings In The Outhouse 29-May-2020

About a month ago, I noticed that a Ricky Gervais show on Netflix called After Life came out with its second season.

In early January 2020, I told my wife Melissa about Ricky's monologue as he hosted the Golden Globes.  Here's a link to the entire monologue, which is quite hilarious.  Unless you're a Hollywood snob.  Which, in that case, you may be offended and will probably storm off into the corner to pout.  Anyway, after telling her about what he said near the end, she chuckled, smiled, and said, "I've always thought he was funny."

Hard to believe now on the timing, but she passed roughly ten days later.

Back to After Life.  I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but I wanted something short and light.  Each season had six episodes, and they were less than 30 minutes each.  Perfect.  I wasn't in the right mind for anything less.

It didn't take long for the show to hit me right in the gut.  You see, the main character, played by Gervais, had just lost his wife from cancer.  He was dealing with grief.  Now, as a recent widower, I know that grief takes many forms.  And what Gervais did in After Life was brilliant.  The acting and writing was remarkable, and the storylines took me to places I didn't quite expect--and that's a good thing.  Stories should do that, to be more effective.  I won't spoil anything here.  You have to watch it for yourself.

It didn't take long for me to finish both seasons.  I shed quite a few tears, while at the same time laughed my butt off.  I'm giving myself a little breather before I watch the show again.

And again.

Thank you Ricky.

The new normal is simply change / Happenings In The Outhouse 24-April-2020

There's been a lot of talk lately about the current events surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic being the new normal.  Many people are working from home, more people are cooking at home instead of going to restaurants, families are watching more movies at home because the theaters are closed, and people who live under the same roof are doing more things together.

Why is this the new normal?  Why should a pandemic have caused families and loved ones to do things together?

I view this new way of doing things as change.  When my wife and I got married, that was change.  We had to adapt to a new normal of married life.  Then the same thing occurred when we had kids.  Every life change is simply that.  Change.

April 2011 was a major change when my late wife was diagnosed with leukemia.

Then, last year, on May 19th, our family had to adapt to a new normal as my late wife started going downhill health-wise.  And of course my world turned completely upside-down when she passed on January 16th of 2020.

A new normal for me?  Sure.

I call it change.  Get used to change.  Change happens.

Why I'm not freaking out (special coronavirus / COVID-19 special)

I read a blog post this morning by a well-known science fiction writer and felt more than compelled to write this post.

First, the author (no, I will not disclose the name nor gender, as this person is fairly smart but seems to be a bit misguided in light of current events) wrote about all of the uncertainty in the world and how the whole coronavirus is impacting the world economy.  No argument there, however said author seemed to imply that the entire global market is on the verge of collapsing and we may never recover from it.

Now, I am not a fortune teller and cannot see the future, but I am not freaking out about this whole mess.  True, I am nearing the close of my second week of working from home, and I am thankful for having this job.  Also, the company I work for is thriving to help bring products to the various manufacturers who are building many of the world's leading edge innovations.  It is also on the forefront of many manufacturers who are changing their business model to help build ventilators and other necessary medical devices to battle this pandemic.  But the world economy collapsing?  I find that hard to believe.

Are you familiar with the book "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard?  It's a quick read that is well worth the time.  The gist of it is the world is always changing and if something disrupts it, we should figure out a way to move with it.  In other words, if we're mice in a maze and our cheese has always been in one particular spot, what happens when the cheese is no longer there?  We go find it in its new place.

Many of our local restaurants have changed their business model to offering curb side service or even home delivery, whereas they never offered it before.  Is business through the roof?  Probably not.  But then again, if you offer excellent service, you never know where this economy will take you.

People talk about this being the New Normal.  Heck, this all started for me on January 16th of this year (11 weeks ago, to be exact), when my wife passed away.  In a way, I am thankful she is no longer in this world because many of the risk factors for COVID-19 was right in her wheelhouse: diabetes, former cancer patient, respiratory complications.  Then again, I have had a whole host of New Normals across my life, even as far back as April 2011 when my wife was originally diagnosed with leukemia.

I get it.  I am not arguing with the fact that the world as we know it will not be like it was.  But I see that as a good thing.  Now I have the ability to work from home if I need to.  Also, when my writing business skyrockets and I am able to do it full-time, I have now developed the habits to make it work whereas I had a difficult time to before all this.

Also, I truly believe that this world is in God's hands.  I have complete faith in God and everything He has done.  Only through my Christian faith has the impact of my wife's passing been a blessing when I know she is in a far better place.

And I will see her again one day.  It's hard for me to fathom a world without such hope.

Lastly, as a writer myself, what made me be more than compelled to write this is due to many of the more vocal writers bitching about not being able to write, bitching about the election and what it does to the publishing industry, and quite frankly just plain bitching in general.  I am convinced the majority of writers may not be in this camp, but when the ones who are more successful seem to be the more bitchy ones, it makes me scratch my head in wonder.  For me, I've been writing more and more each day.

I also think many others are too.  The ones who aren't seem to be spending more time posting their bitchiness online when they could just hunker down and work.

Art is, after all, an essential business too.  Where else are we going to be entertained from, except from the creation that is within our own minds?

So get out there and do it.  Now!

Check Your Attitude / Happenings In The Outhouse 16-June-2017

It disheartens me when I hear people say, "OMG, 2017 absolutely sucks!"  Or, replace 2017 with 2016.  I've heard it all before.  The only thing that changes is the year.

Today's post is about one's attitude and how your attitude affects your life.  One can always find something bad . . . if that's all they're looking for.

Let me tell you right now, 2011 freaking sucked for my family and I.  But there were lessons learned and events that have a profound affect, even to this day.

In January 2011, within two days of each other, our van was taken away for repossession and we received foreclosure papers on our home.  I wasn't even a month into a new leadership position at my job and already things took a turn for the worst.  Fast forward a month, the van was back and the house was no longer in foreclosure land.

But wait!  There's more!

On April 11th, my wife was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML).  She spent the bulk of 2011 in Rochester, MN, at the Mayo Clinic.  I took over 20 trips down to visit her.  Around Christmas, a good friend of mine was complaining and being all bah-humbug.  And he had absolutely nothing to complain about!  He didn't go through anything like what our family went through.  Now, I could've acted like this too.

But I didn't.  I was thankful my wife was still around and healing.  Fast forward to today, she's still not 100%.

I came across a YouTube video my sister-in-law put together after a benefit in May 2011.  I watched it numerous times years ago, but it had been a while.  Watching it again, and seeing all of the people present, brought back a host of emotions.

One of those emotions was thankfulness.  I was thankful for all those who helped.  I am also thankful for all that happened in 2011.

Happenings In The Outhouse 06-Jun-2014 / The Cancer Chronicles

On the morning of June 1st, an award-winning author passed away--one completely overshadowed by the passing of Maya Angelou.

Jay Lake, science ficiton author of more than ten novels and three hundred short stories, passed away after a long battle with cancer.  What's interesting about Jay's cancer fight is that he's chronicled it all the way--from his first diagnosis to his passing.  He never pulled back and always told it like it is.  His obituary can be found here. 

On the Killzone novel, book one of the Shadowkill trilogy, I currently have four chapters left to edit.  Once I'm done, I will make one more editing pass before uploading it to Amazon.

(And, of course, I'm sure you've heard all about the Amazon/Hachette debate going on.  Frankly, my friend, head on out to thriller author J. A. Konrath's blog for his insight onto it in terms of the indie publishing community.  In fact, if you're an indie author you should be following his blog anyway).

Also, this week, my novella Guest of Honor has now been uploaded into Smashwords and Kobo's book stores.  I already have two of my other shorter works on other sites besides Amazon.  Frankly, they haven't sold much at all--but I'm thinking long-term, so this doesn't bother me.  I'm just going to keep writing.  When I have links to these other sites, I'll share them.

A caregiver's guide to writing

For those people who care for the needs of others, I know how it feels to have your time sucked away.  This is beyond the normal needs of children and loved ones.  This is for those caring for people dealing with debilitating diseases like cancer and even Alzheimer's, but not just limited to those.

How does one find time to write?

The short answer: very carefully, and if it's only in short bursts, then do it.

It's how I write.  Now, as my wife has been cancer-free from her leukemia for the past 2 years, she still deals with many of the side effects, such as tiredness.  She's been going through severe eye problems these last few months too--she did back in October 2011, and things have progressively gotten worse this summer.  And because of this, I end up doing the majority of the daily chores along with the kids.  Keep in mind, I don't want pity from people nor do I want anyone to feel sorry for me.  That's not the point of this post.  What I want is to encourage those caregivers out there that you can do it, you can still realize your dream while at the same time care for the needs of others.

Are there times when I get frustrated and so tired from the long hours that I don't feel like writing?  Yes.  Do I still put words down on the digital paper.  Sometimes.  Depending on the day, most days I do, but mostly on the weekends I do not.

Your writing time may be limited as a caregiver, but even five minutes here and ten minutes there can add up over time.  Be deliberate about your "free time."  Commit to writing even 100-200 words a day if needed.  A typical 75K novel at 200 words a day will be completed in 375 days--just a little over a year.  Increase that amount of 250 even, and that number drops to 300 days.  If you can't write daily, set weekly goals.  Write those goals down, and track your progress.

You can do it.  Don't be discouraged.  Be deliberate with your time.  Commit to doing the work you were meant to do.

Happenings In The Outhouse 12-Jul-2013 / Busy times

Busy times abound!

Between writing and a recent surgery for my wife, I have to say, "Life sure ain't boring!"

First and foremost, my wife has been having eye complications since around October 2011.  Lately, though, they have gotten worse as she developed an ulcer in her eye.  Long story short, Tuesday this week she had a partial cornea transplant--she's still in pain, but it will subside and she'll be able to see better.  This all stems--no pun intended--from her stem cell transplant on September 1, 2011 to help cure her Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

Fingers crossed, she's still in remission . . . and on the road to improved health.

For writing, I'm literally in the middle of three writing projects.  I am working on the final-final edits to Beholder's Eye.  The main edits were done late last year, but I re-read it again as well as had a beta reader go through it, and I'm fixing a few minor mistakes.  Other than that, I'll good with it.  I'll still wait for the small press to finish looking at it, and if they pass on it . . . well, then it's off to the Kindle store!

Next is the major revision of a . . . horror novel, a small-time zombie apocalyptic novel I wrote years ago and am completely re-writing it.  I'm only on the first three chapters, and so far they're turning out great.

Lastly is the online class I'm participating in by Brandon Sanderson on the Write About Dragons.com site, and it's the 2013 Summer Class.  It's great fun, and so far I'm learning a lot.

And of course, I have to mention that my novelette Guest of Honor is available on the Kindle store for $1.99.  It's a suspenseful thriller that crosses the lines of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the serial killer Ed Gein.  Please pick it up by clicking on this link, and when you get a moment, I'd be grateful if you'd write a review.

Live as if it's your last

Tragedies can befall us.

As we speak, tornadoes have ravaged Oklahoma.  Do you think they're worried about the rising gas prices?  Or some recent acts in Congress?

Probably not.

What about the recent victims of the Boston Marathon?  What do you think is on their mind?

There's a guy I know who's not only in his mid-20's, he's also battling leukemia . . . for the fourth time!  His wife and he met my wife two years ago when they were down at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

Some things seem trivial in light of other tragic events.  For the past 3-4 days, much of Minnesota and North Dakota were rained pretty heavily upon.  I got a small amount of water in my basement, but I'm not complaining.  Things could be worse.  My wife, despite a constant battle with her eyes, is still in remission from her leukemia.

Things could be worse.

Tornadoes.  Floods.  Cancer.  Murder.  Suicide.

Yup.  It could be a lot worse.  I may not be happy about paying more at the gas pump, but life could be worse.  If everyone was to live as if it's their last, what kind of day would they serve?

What could they accomplish?

And for the writers and artists out there, what kind of art could we make?

A spouse can help an artist have a life

Last year, with my wife down in Rochester, MN, battling acute myeloid leukemia, and me back at home taking care of our three children, I didn't do much except work, write, visit my wife every 2-3 weeks on the weekends (a 7-8 hour trip, one-way, mind you), and take care of my children.

When the kids were in bed, I wrote.  A lot.  Aside from that, I didn't do much else in the way of extra-curricular activities (okay, we did end up remodeling some of the house by taking out the carpet, etc, so that ate up much of the weekend time, and I also did the housework too--of what the kids weren't able to do).  One chore I got out of was mowing the lawn; our local boy scout troop helped us out in this regard, and kept our lawn neat and trimmed all summer long.  I usually like mowing, but then, with all the other chores to do, that was one job I was deeply thankful for the scout troop and leaders that they did.

The one thing I notice now that my wife is home is this: she helps me to have a life outside of my writing.

Spouses know when you need to work, and know when it's time to take a break.  It's good to have a break, because it rejuvenates your mental batteries.  And, sure, there are times when I'm diligently writing and I'm interrupted by my wife asking to solve some problem with the kids or to help her find something or to help wash clothes or vacuum the living room rug . . . or any number of things.  I'm usually irritated by the cessation of my work, but it's funny that during my assistance, I work out mentally the problem I'm writing about . . . and a new insight is shown.  Not all the time, but more times than not, I'm blessed by this vision.

Spouses, and children, also serve a deeper purpose for the artist.  They serve as the reason you are doing it.  If I didn't have a wife and family, and was living off somewhere all by myself, I'd be writing all the time.  But what would I be writing?  Even before we got married, my writing took on a life of its own, because I knew that I wanted to provide a better life than what a normal job could entail.  Prior to this, I didn't have any purpose, other than wanting to be rich and famous.

Truly amazed by the generosity of others

This past year, I have witnessed something phenomenal.  Something that I read about but never experienced first-hand.

Until now.

It's called generosity.

Such a simple word, yet powerful.  Ever since my wife was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in April 2011 (where she doctored at the grand Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, and where she's still residing while she recovers from her bone marrow transplant on September 1st), I have witnessed the generosity others like I've never known it.

And tonight proved it once again.  And again.  And again.  (and again, for near-infinity . . . )

And one day, through the will of God, I will pay it forward.

Okay, now I think I'm gonna cry.

Death of the Great Innovator

I walk into the grocery store and pick up a jar of peanut butter. Do I know who the CEO of that company is? Nope.  Not a clue.

What about the CEO of Coca-Cola or GM or Hewlett-Packard or countless other products?  Don't know the CEO there either.

Most of us do not have a clue who the CEO--let alone founder--of many of the companies that line the stores today.  Sure, we know Sam Walton started Wal-mart and Bill Gates started Microsoft, but most we are clueless.

What about Apple?  Steve Jobs, of course.

Ironically, I happen to be reading Start with Why by Simon Sinek, who goes in great detail as to why Apple is so recognizable nowadays (along with other great innovative companies such as Harley-Davidson and Southwest Airlines) and why people buy from them.

Steve Jobs was the Great Innovator, for lack of a better title. Someone tonight, after the announcement of his death, compared him to Thomas Edison. But I think Steve was much more than that. He transformed the way businesses operated and got people excited for their many products, even if there were flaws. Now, I have to say that I do not own an iPhone or an iPad . . . hell, I don't think I own one single Apple product (more for financial reasons than anything at this point in my life), but I'm boggled at how many people absolutely love their products. One day I will too, but at least I knew who Steve Jobs was. Do I know who the CEO of Ford or GE or 3M is? Not a chance.

What also brings this closer to home is that Steve Jobs had pancreatic cancer at one point, even though we may have died from a tumor.  My wife has acute myeloid leukemia, a blood cancer, so when I see such a young person like Steve Jobs (who was 56) die from cancer, I know that we have a long ways to fighting this awful disease.

Thanks, Steve, for the great innovation you've given the world. Rest in peace.

Just when you think you have everything all planned out . . . life happened

I didn't realize it had been so long since I've last posted, but then again I've had life smack me in the face.

Oh, where do I begin? In the beginning, as the Great Books says. Here we go.



On April 7th, 2011, my wife had a bone marrow biopsy performed at the Altru Hospital in Grand Forks, ND. Afterwards, the doctor said the results could take up to a week to come back. Needless to say, if you've consulted a calendar about now, you know that this would've been on a Thursday. By Friday afternoon, the doctor called and said she wishes to meet with us Monday morning, on the 13th of April.



What led us up to this point? For now, I'm just going to tell it from this point on and not rehash the countless tests and procedures my wife Melissa had gone through before the bone marrow biopsy.


Okay, on Monday morning, the doctor and an entourage of two other nurses come in and inform my wife that she has Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) and that she has to do her treatments in Rochester, MN. Long story short, she has been home two times since then, and is currently residing at the Hope Lodge in Rochester, MN (with her brother as a caretaker). Needless to say, I feel very blessed for all of the support and prayers that have come from the community that I live in, as well as the community I grew up in. The largest town I've lived in was Bemidji, MN, back when I was at the university, but I have to honestly say, you are treated so much more warmly in a smaller community than if we lived in, oh let's say anywhere in the Twin Cities. On May 19th, ironically on my 8-year-old daughter's birthday, there was a benefit held for us at our church in Red Lake Falls. My one wish was that Melissa would've been able to see it, but she was of course down in Rochester. Several hundred people showed up - it was very overwhelming. I feel very blessed by the experience, and can't wait to bless countless others down the road when life throws them a curve ball.


Although I won't go into too much detail about Melissa's treatments and what the future holds, I will do so at a later time. I am still writing, it's something I work on almost every single day, and will add more to this blog very soon.

For updates on my wife's condition, go to the caringbridge.org site and type in melissapeterson1 in the search box.