On The Seventh Day / Happenings In The Outhouse 18-July-2025

It's always important to look after your health.

It's rare for someone to go 100 miles per hour (physical, mentally, etc.) on a constant basis without needing at least some rest.

Even God "rested" when he created the universe.

Resting can look different for everyone.  For me, I'm on a project at work that requires me to start much earlier than usual.  It cuts into my writing time.  Am I still writing?  Sort of.  I'm going through writing training modules as a way of recharging my creative batteries.

Don't feel guilty about resting.  It's okay to rest after a long week.

Be Healthy / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-March-2025

Late Monday night, I got hit with something (I'm still leaning toward food poisoning) that nearly took me out of commission for Tuesday and into Wednesday.  Needless to say, I got absolutely no writing done for a few days.

That being said, it's always good to be mindful of one's health.  Have regular check-ups with your doctor.  Do NOT skip them.  In fact, if possible, once you leave your appointment, schedule the next one.  Because once it's on the calendar, you won't forget.

This goes with everything, from dentists and eye doctors to your regular medical doctors and specialists.  What are you missing?  Don't skip it.

Hitting The Stress Wall / Happenings In The Outhouse 20-Dec-2024

It's that time of the year again.

And I've been hearing the word stress a lot lately--especially at work.

Please take time for yourself.  Your health (and spirit) comes first.

Because if it wasn't for your health/spirit, everything else is moot.

Best Time To Prepare / Happenings In The Outhouse 26-July-2024

There is an adage that says (I'm paraphrasing here): when is the best time to prepare?  Let's take retirement saving for example or career advancement.  Answer: five years ago (or some time in the distant past).  When is the second best time?  Today.

Obviously, no one has a time machine to go back, to give yourself financial or career advice years ago, knowing how it all ends up.  But preparing for whatever change is taking place, the best time is now.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week or month or year.  Now.

If you do not, then you'll look back five years from now and wish that you had done something different.

How is the world changing?  What can you do to study now that will pay dividends down the road?

Let's Chat Briefly About Suicide / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-Nov-2023

A few weeks ago, a young lady in our small community committed suicide.  She was a successful businesswoman who was well-known and well-liked.  In fact, at the funeral home for her service, it was standing room only as the people packed themselves inside.  It was a tremendous tribute to her legacy, despite the tragic manner of her passing.

With her suicide, it was the same story you heard many times.  "Oh, I never knew she was depressed."  "Oh, I wish she would've reached out."  "I never knew."

Trust me, for those seriously considering this way out, you never know.  Never.

Remember this guy?

Nobody ever knew what he was going to do on that fateful August day in 2014.

For those in the aftermath of a suicide, the family members and friends will always wonder what they could've done.  Let me answer it: nothing.  Yup, I said it.  Nothing.

Nothing.

I hate to be so blunt.  But nothing except the power of the Lord can help.

More on this topic another time . . .

Adapt And Overcome / Happenings In The Outhouse 20-Oct-2023

Everyone meets challenges in life.  It's inevitable.  No one can escape it, despite their position in power, money, status.  If you think people who are filthy rich have it so easy, think again.  They have a host of troubles that others don't encounter.

No, money does not buy happiness.  If you think that's the case, then why are so many rich people getting divorces or committing suicide or . . . well, you get the picture.  Also, do a quick Google search on the unhappy lives of those who win the lottery.

When you meet a challenge, whether it's lack of money or a health issue or an obstacle at work, it's your mindset on how you adapt and overcome it that will set you apart from others.  If you don't have the money to buy the latest (fill in the blank), instead of bitching and complaining about it, ask yourself what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it.

Or, if the said object is even worth it.

If you find yourself always broke, but can always gather up enough to buy Starbucks or cigarettes, then that's where your priorities lie.  If there is a position at work that you want and find yourself wondering why in the hell someone else got it instead of you, then maybe you need to work on something to make yourself better.

Your mindset is what can separate yourself from others.  There is something to say about having a positive mental attitude.  Just saying . . .

Planning For The Future / Happenings In The Outhouse 24-March-2023

Ironically, today is my late wife's birthday.  She would've been 51.

A few weeks ago, I read a blog post by Dean Wesley Smith on estate planning.  It is well-written and thought provoking, for sure.  Please take the time to read it, save it, and come back to it time and again.

It is selfish not to plan for the future, not to plan for your eventual demise.  It warms my heart to think about the words I'm publishing today producing fruit for my children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren and beyond for others to enjoy.

Do not put this off until tomorrow.  Do it today.

And do not--and I stress do not--instruct others to throw away your writing.  I can't think of a more idiotic way of disposing of your hard work.

If you don't know, there is a world of knowledge right at your fingertips.  Use Dean's post as a starting point.

Companionship Advantage / Happenings In The Outhouse 09-Dec-2022

They say two heads are better than one.

But what if you are a solo artist/author?

Many artists do, indeed, work alone.  But if you can have a companion (i.e. spouse) who supports what you are doing, more than better.  I could be wrong on this, but I do believe that is how Dean Koontz got his start, that his wife worked full-time so he could write.  She gave him a five-year deadline to become a published author.  If he did, then they'd be set.  As you can see, he has accomplished that and much, much more.  There are other stories of supportive spouses from authors like Stephen King too.

My late wife was always supportive of my writing--not quite sure why, to be brutally honest.  In our twenty-two and a half years of marriage, she heard a lot about it and knew I was writing, but never broke into the bestselling list.

My girlfriend is just as supportive and even loves to do her own schoolwork (she's an RN working on her BSN degree) while I write.  When she leaves for work early in the morning, I'm always up with her, plugging away on my computer.

Other authors do not seem to have this type of relationship.  J. K. Rowling and J. D. Salinger are just two authors I can name who got published without a companion by their side supporting them.

Does it help?  I sure think so.

Don't Kill Yourself Over Numbers / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-Oct-2022

As times change, so do you.  You're getting older, life changes, and some things are just beyond your control.

There is an adage (blame this on the NaNoWriMo crowd) that you have to write 2,000 words a day, every single day, in order to be a successful writer.

But what if this isn't possible?  My writing career has its peaks and valleys, times when I was dealing with my late wife's health or something came up that I just couldn't put my butt in the chair to write a single word.

Give yourself grace.  Don't kill yourself over the number of words or pages you need to write.  Goals are arbitrary anyway.  Writing something is better than nothing.  And if you're dealing with a major life event, give yourself grace and take a break.  Even God rested after creating the universe, and there are many times in the Bible when Jesus rested.

So take writing advice for what it's worth.  Do what you need to do, even if it means taking a break.

Make Change A Habit / Happenings In The Outhouse 18-March-2022

Life is full of changes.

When my late wife got her cancer diagnosis in April 2011, it turned our world upside-down.  Life was an endless series of doctors appointments, trips to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester (a 382 mile trip, one way), and the extra financial burden on top of it.  And then it was juggling events with three young kids.  Upon her return home in December 2011, what we could do seemed limited.

In March 2020, a virus took the world by storm, changing the way business was done.  My employer implemented a work-from-home model, something completely unheard of from them until that point.  Now, two years later, my employer is having the working from home folks return to the office on a hybrid model basis, part at home and part in the office.  Changes.  Many changes and unknowns.  A number of people were not happy about it, but, when you examine it closely, it depends largely on how you handle change.

In June 2020, I joined the local gym.  I had wanted to join for quite some time, but I could not afford it in terms of time and money prior to that point.  Now, I go there 5-6 times a week on average, and I love it.  It's a way of me getting out of the house and doing something to physically improve my health.

Most times, I am alone and can plan my workouts ahead of time.  But when I have something in mind, let's say I had a weights day previously and planned on a strict cardio day on the treadmill, and all of a sudden there are people in the gym and all of the treadmills are taken, what do I do?  I change my plans.

I have made change a habit.  Yes, my first reaction on change is a slight WTF moment, but it quickly subsides.

I urge you to make change a habit.  If you do the same thing all the time, you don't grow as a person.  Change is what makes us better.

Finding Support / Happenings In The Outhouse 04-Feb-2022

Who has your back?

You have been working on something for a long time--or there is something you have been putting off and now is the time to get it started.

It doesn't matter what it is.  A project for the home.  A side business.  Getting in shape.  Furthering your education.  Moving forward in your grief.  And the list goes on . . .

Whatever it is, you may find yourself asking who has your back?  Who is supporting you?

First, let me tell you that you should be supporting you.  You should be the one to put the full weight of your decision into whatever it is that is driving you.  Letting others in, especially at an early stage, may be disastrous.

But this depends on who it is that you are letting in.

Find one who will be both honest and positive.  They should be an encouragement to you.  If something is completely unrealistic--like, if I wanted to be the next great NFL quarterback, when I've never played football and I could care less about the sport--the feedback should be something you should take to heart.  But if you have been in the business world for a few decades and want to advance your career by going for an MBA, that is more realistic.

It may be difficult to find the right one to support you.  But, if you trust in God, the support will be found for you.

But as a first step, give yourself grace, be positive, and be your number one supporter first.

First steps / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-Sept-2021

A 1000-mile journey begins with the first mile.

A 4-year journey of completing your college degree begins with the first class/semester.

Whatever you're doing, starting can be the most difficult hurdle to overcome.  Taking the first steps is essential to starting your journey, no matter what it is.

If you have a huge task, the best thing you can do is just start.  Baby steps if you have to.  I know first hand that writing a novel is a daunting task.  But as each page, paragraph, and sentence is written, the closer I am to completing it.

Start today.

Start small if you have to.

What you may find is that once you start, continuing the journey and completing it is easier than you think.

Pay attention to what you are neglecting / Happenings In The Outhouse 30-July-2021

Focusing your energy on one thing is good.

But if it means neglecting essential aspects of your life, the results can be harmful.  Even fatal.

When my late wife's health was failing, it was easy to just focus on her.  I mean, come on, she was worth it!  But if I neglected my own health, mentally and physically, the harmful effects wouldn't do the rest of my family or I any good.

It isn't selfish to put some of your essential needs ahead of someone else's.  Even Jesus, who gave all that He could for the people, including His life, went off alone quite often to reflect, pray, and rest.

A few weeks ago, I came to the hard decision to shift some of my energy from writing to cleaning up my yard--don't worry, I still write in the mornings.  I had meant to keep up with the yard work, and years of utter neglect showed, but it was the hard determination to just go ahead and do it that jarred it loose.  I gathered the tools I needed, bought ones that I did not own, and dedicated time each and every night to the task at hand.  It's not done, but it looks a heck of a lot better than before.

You see, through all the years of focusing my time and energy on my late wife, caring and loving her, these aspects of the family suffered.  This included my health.  Last June I joined a gym.  I needed to improve my health.  Weight loss was a must.

Exercise quickly became a daily habit.

Because I wanted to improve.

Because I wanted to serve others in a better capacity.

And to love?  Possibly the same kind of love I showed my sweet, precious angel, who let go of my hand on January 16, 2020, at 10:15am and grabbed the mighty hand of Jesus as He took her into Heaven?

I . . . I think so.

Am I ready?

That, my friend, I don't know.

But I'm willing to try.

Want something, make it a habit / Happenings In The Outhouse 23-July-2021

On June 15, 2020, I joined the local gym.  I desperately needed to get in shape, to lose weight, and with pandemic restrictions finally lifting then, I decided it was finally time.

No more putting it off.

Once I joined, I made it a habit of going at the same time every single day (okay, I do take 1-2 nights off a week, at the most to give my body a rest).  I find that setting a schedule of going in at a specific time, instead of "oh, sometime today" made my habit of going to the gym much more concrete.

And what's weird is that even on my "off" days, when my designated time rolls around, I get antsy to go.

Several years ago, I woke up at 5:30am every morning to write.  I was able to crank out a few novels during those times, and it was just something I needed to do.

What do you want to do?  What are you putting off?

Make it a habit.

Good luck!

Grief And Creativity / Happenings In The Outhouse 29-Jan-2021

Throughout 2020, so many people rallied about how much 2020 sucked.  I'm not disagreeing with them.  But as I've stated before, this seems to be the theme every single year.  So stop calling 2020 a dumpster fire--your mindset is a dumpster fire.  You just need to put out the fire.  True, 2020 had some troubling moments with the pandemic and all, but we've rallied before and won.  Keep your heart where it's supposed to be.

That being said, I want to discuss creativity and grief.  More specifically when it comes to the creative process, but it can also bleed over into other areas of your life too.  I've touched on this before, last year.  Here is a blog post from last year.

I am a huge fan of Weird Al Yankovic, and have been since I was a kid.  So when the opportunity came for me to see him in concert, at the Chester Fritz Auditorium, on April 12, 2004, I jumped at the chance.  But something tragic happened on April 9: Weird Al's parents died in an accidental carbon monoxide incident at their home.

My heart went out to him as I knew my hopes of seeing him live were dashed.  But much to my surprise, the show went on.  He did a beautiful tribute to them in the middle of the concert.  It was an amazing show.

Years later, I read about how he dealt with his parents sudden passing.  Instead of cancelling any shows, including the night it happened, he went on.  And I must say, if there was any misstep in his performance, I certainly didn't see it.  The show was incredible.

Grief can take a toll on creativity.  I've been there, got the T-shirt, and then some.

Any form of stress can take a toll on creativity.  Not denying that.  But there are times when your creativity is the perfect outlet to help you along.  And if you can't, that's okay too.  Take a break.  Focus on something else for a while.

It's okay to grieve.  There is no timeline on it.

Focus on what is important / Happenings In The Outhouse 02-Oct-2020

It's easy to get distracted.

Especially in today's time where more and more are vying for out attention.  All of our social media channels thrive on people staying on their platform longer and longer.  The 24/7 news media companies are offering up the latest BREAKING NEWS.

But I believe this has always been the case.  We want to stay busy, work longer hours, constantly feeling needed by those around us.

Step back for a moment and ask yourself, "What's important?"

Health?  Family?  God?  Hobby?  Something else?

When I updated my quarterly "Top Five" for the next quarter, I reviewed last quarter's.  I had more than five things.  And I barely accomplished any.  So I kept it simple for the last quarter.  Just five.  Five goals.  Are they attainable?  Yes.  Will they be easy?  Depends on how you look at it.  I broke the goals down into smaller chunks of five total, so I should be able to do at least three, if not four.

Another item for consideration is cutting down on the amount of podcasts I listen to.  Yes, again.  My list seems to grow and grow, and although I get through them all in a given week, I still wonder if I can cut them down more.

Look back in the archive of this blog and search "podcast fast" and you can see I've done this before.

It's okay to quit something.  Nine years ago, I resigned my part-time job as a licensed peace officer.  Sure, the extra cash was nice, but other areas in my life suffered.  Do I regret it?  Nope.  If you need to quit something, do it.

Remember to focus on what's important in your life.  God gave you a purpose.  Fulfill that destiny He gave you.

Ricky Gervais and After Life (Netflix) / Happenings In The Outhouse 29-May-2020

About a month ago, I noticed that a Ricky Gervais show on Netflix called After Life came out with its second season.

In early January 2020, I told my wife Melissa about Ricky's monologue as he hosted the Golden Globes.  Here's a link to the entire monologue, which is quite hilarious.  Unless you're a Hollywood snob.  Which, in that case, you may be offended and will probably storm off into the corner to pout.  Anyway, after telling her about what he said near the end, she chuckled, smiled, and said, "I've always thought he was funny."

Hard to believe now on the timing, but she passed roughly ten days later.

Back to After Life.  I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but I wanted something short and light.  Each season had six episodes, and they were less than 30 minutes each.  Perfect.  I wasn't in the right mind for anything less.

It didn't take long for the show to hit me right in the gut.  You see, the main character, played by Gervais, had just lost his wife from cancer.  He was dealing with grief.  Now, as a recent widower, I know that grief takes many forms.  And what Gervais did in After Life was brilliant.  The acting and writing was remarkable, and the storylines took me to places I didn't quite expect--and that's a good thing.  Stories should do that, to be more effective.  I won't spoil anything here.  You have to watch it for yourself.

It didn't take long for me to finish both seasons.  I shed quite a few tears, while at the same time laughed my butt off.  I'm giving myself a little breather before I watch the show again.

And again.

Thank you Ricky.

Why I'm not freaking out (special coronavirus / COVID-19 special)

I read a blog post this morning by a well-known science fiction writer and felt more than compelled to write this post.

First, the author (no, I will not disclose the name nor gender, as this person is fairly smart but seems to be a bit misguided in light of current events) wrote about all of the uncertainty in the world and how the whole coronavirus is impacting the world economy.  No argument there, however said author seemed to imply that the entire global market is on the verge of collapsing and we may never recover from it.

Now, I am not a fortune teller and cannot see the future, but I am not freaking out about this whole mess.  True, I am nearing the close of my second week of working from home, and I am thankful for having this job.  Also, the company I work for is thriving to help bring products to the various manufacturers who are building many of the world's leading edge innovations.  It is also on the forefront of many manufacturers who are changing their business model to help build ventilators and other necessary medical devices to battle this pandemic.  But the world economy collapsing?  I find that hard to believe.

Are you familiar with the book "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard?  It's a quick read that is well worth the time.  The gist of it is the world is always changing and if something disrupts it, we should figure out a way to move with it.  In other words, if we're mice in a maze and our cheese has always been in one particular spot, what happens when the cheese is no longer there?  We go find it in its new place.

Many of our local restaurants have changed their business model to offering curb side service or even home delivery, whereas they never offered it before.  Is business through the roof?  Probably not.  But then again, if you offer excellent service, you never know where this economy will take you.

People talk about this being the New Normal.  Heck, this all started for me on January 16th of this year (11 weeks ago, to be exact), when my wife passed away.  In a way, I am thankful she is no longer in this world because many of the risk factors for COVID-19 was right in her wheelhouse: diabetes, former cancer patient, respiratory complications.  Then again, I have had a whole host of New Normals across my life, even as far back as April 2011 when my wife was originally diagnosed with leukemia.

I get it.  I am not arguing with the fact that the world as we know it will not be like it was.  But I see that as a good thing.  Now I have the ability to work from home if I need to.  Also, when my writing business skyrockets and I am able to do it full-time, I have now developed the habits to make it work whereas I had a difficult time to before all this.

Also, I truly believe that this world is in God's hands.  I have complete faith in God and everything He has done.  Only through my Christian faith has the impact of my wife's passing been a blessing when I know she is in a far better place.

And I will see her again one day.  It's hard for me to fathom a world without such hope.

Lastly, as a writer myself, what made me be more than compelled to write this is due to many of the more vocal writers bitching about not being able to write, bitching about the election and what it does to the publishing industry, and quite frankly just plain bitching in general.  I am convinced the majority of writers may not be in this camp, but when the ones who are more successful seem to be the more bitchy ones, it makes me scratch my head in wonder.  For me, I've been writing more and more each day.

I also think many others are too.  The ones who aren't seem to be spending more time posting their bitchiness online when they could just hunker down and work.

Art is, after all, an essential business too.  Where else are we going to be entertained from, except from the creation that is within our own minds?

So get out there and do it.  Now!

A dismal 2019 / Happenings In The Outhouse 13-March-2020

Happy Friday the 13th!

Okay, now down to business.

Last week, I came to the realization as to why I was struggling so much with writing over the past year.  I only published one short story and a novelette in 2019, but I started at least three novels--I had decent beginnings but they went nowhere.  Even now, writing a new thriller, I'm struggling with putting new words onto the page.

Grief.

Even though my wife didn't pass until January 16th of this year, the time I spent dealing with her and her medical issues was draining (and I cherished every moment of it!).  So I've taken a step back and given myself grace to grieve.

Back in the saddle again / Happenings In The Outhouse 13-Dec-2019

With all that's going on in my life, it's a wonder that I even have the energy to start a new book.

But that is life.  Life goes on.  It has changed dramatically since May, and what may come of it I don't know.  One thing I do know is that I can't just sit and worry about something I have no control over.  The only thing I can do is work on something I love.

And I love writing.

I am currently writing the first words to a new thriller--the 5th novel in the Central Division Series.  In the weeks to come, I'll pass along some year's end wisdom and future planning.  For now, I'm keeping this short.