Distractions And Focus / Happenings In The Outhouse 29-May-2026

There are a lot of distractions keeping you from achieving your goals.  Social media.  The news (is 24/7 news media really necessary?).  Politics.  Global events.  The stock market.  Funny videos/reels.  Online browsing, looking for deals.

You name it, it can distract you.

That is, if you let it.

I recently read a blog post (geared toward writers) about distractions and "how the world is right now" blah, blah, blah . . . 

Again, let me repeat: IF YOU LET IT.

What separates those who achieve their goals and those who do not is getting things done?  Finishing that novel.  Building that website.  Setting up that newsletter.  Submitting that proposal to whatever gatekeeper you name.  Finishing something, whatever that may be.

The phrase "how the world is right now" threw me for a loop because it all comes down to perspective.  Sadly, for many, their world revolves on who is sitting in the White House.  If "their person" is in there and "their people" are in Congress, then life is peachy.  If not, then it's all gone to hell.

For me, I don't like discussing politics (even with my wife, we don't like to discuss it, and we hold the same values and voted for the same) and don't like discussing politics with people who also hold our same values.  There are other things to talk about.  Family.  Dreams.  You name it.

Keep an eye on what is distracting you.  If it is demanding more and more of your time (there is a certain game on my phone that does that, and I am more purposeful on what time I devote to it) then you might ask yourself, "What's important to me?"

Is it your dream?

Or the distraction?

Always Keep Learning / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-Nov-2025

No matter your age and experience, it is always important to keep learning.

I listened to a training video by bestselling author Dean Wesley Smith who has been in the publishing business for over 50 years.  Yes, five decades!  One of the points he made in the video (well, truth be told, he makes many great points but I'll limit to just one right here) is to keep learning.  Always.  So many authors came onto the self-publishing scene 5, 10, 15 years ago, and . . . where are they now?  They stopped learning.

Even many traditionally published authors seemed to have vanished.  Not all, but many who were considered the greatest at the time, have now gone bye bye.

Why?

I can only speculate, but it's possible that they also stopped learning.  They stopped reading and expanding their knowledge.

I learn more with each and every story that I write, no matter if it's a short story or a large novel.  There is so much to learn that I yearn to stretch myself even further.

What are you doing to expand your knowledge?

What are you practicing on to get better and better?

I Could Never Do That / Happenings In The Outhouse 24-Oct-2025

A few weeks ago, one of my daughters ran in her first full marathon.

When others hear about her accomplishments, their first thought is: "Oh, I could never do that!"

My question back at this is: Why?  Why could you never do that?  Barring any physical disability, what is stopping you from accomplishing and achieving your dreams?

I have heard the same thing about writing for all my life.  Others were so flabbergasted when they heard I was writing a novel back in college.  They'd ask, day after day, how much I had written and how long the novel was so far.  When it got past the 500 and 600-page marks, one even stopped believing that it was true.  She thought I was joking.  I wasn't.

Could I run a marathon?

Yes.

Not today.  But I could train for it, if that was what I wanted to accomplish.

Can I write a novel?

Yes, absolutely.  I've done it.  Several times.

Some tasks you do easily while others look at as insurmountable.

What's stopping you from doing something you want to do but somehow can't?  Want a hint as to who or what it is?  Look in the mirror.

Greener pastures revisited / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-Feb-2025

Last week, I touched on this subject of always looking elsewhere, never sticking with one thing, even though it's working.  Keep in mind, it may not be working as fast as you wish, but there is truly nothing long term for those seeking quick riches.

Many years ago, I sought out literary agents through query letters, for possible representation to publish my novels.  I repeated the process over and over again.

Then, I heard about self-publishing and was curious about it.  I researched it--I read about vanity presses and didn't want to go down that route--and then decided to dip my toes into the self-publishing waters in April 2012.  It was a small nonfiction book, but at the same time I was still writing and submitting with minimal success.

Once I dipped my toe in and researched more on it, I tried one last push for an agent, even connecting with them on social media . . . but in the end I self-published my books and have never looked back.

Will this work for everyone?

Everyone's path to success is different.  But when something doesn't work right away, don't dismiss it right away.

Some things take longer than others.

Patience . . .

Greener pastures aren't much (if any) greener / Happenings In The Outhouse 07-Feb-2025

Looking elsewhere may seem like the grass is greener than where you are standing, but in most cases it is not.

What am I getting at?

Let's say, for example, that I write a bunch of stories in a certain genre and it doesn't seem to stick with readers.  So I pick another genre and do the same thing.  Nothing.  Then I see that a certain new genre is making the charts so I switch to that.

Again, nothing.

What seems to be the problem?  Well, it's . . . you.  You are the problem.  Work on improving your craft, whatever that may be, because switching genres or moving to a larger city, just because you think you can gain more sales (even though you already have existing clients) is the wrong move.

Because when you get there, the grass looks like where you first were.  In fact, it may even be worse.

More on this next week . . .

Show Up Like It Is The First / Happenings In The Outhouse 04-Oct-2024

Last weekend, my wife and I, along with two of her cousins, went to the final Minnesota Twins game of the season.  They were already out of the playoffs, so either winning or losing the game didn't matter for their team's standing.

However, if that game was someone's first time at a Twins game, whether the players played to win or lose, they should always play as if it's someone's first time there.  Someone may have spent their entire lives wanting to go to a game, even saved for the trip.

The same goes with musicians and concerts.  They should always play as if it's their first concert for someone, their first experience.

Authors are also not immune to this.  Every story should be written as if it's someone's first time reading your story.  Don't treat it like a throwaway story.

By the way, the Twins lost that game too, six to two against the Baltimore Orioles.  Was it a throwaway game?  Some have opinions.  I'll keep mine to myself because I had a good time and, not being a sports fan, I don't like criticizing another player for something I could never do.

QR Codes (Ways To Hinder An Easy Buy) / Happenings In The Outhouse 20-Sept-2024

Ever since one of my daughters went off to her first year of college, we have visited her a few times, to take her to brunch/lunch, and to bring her things that she needed.

One thing I noticed lately was on one of these visits, when we took her to lunch.  It was our second time at this restaurant--one featured on Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives--so we knew the food was good.  But the main difference I noticed between this restaurant and others was that the menu could only be accessed by a QR code.

Okay, you may ask what's the big deal?

The big deal is: what is someone doesn't have a smartphone?  Also, when I asked a few people who were of the older generation, they didn't have a clue what a QR code was.

During our last visit, we took our daughter to a diner for brunch.  I had the French toast, which was like eating a cinnamon roll.  My wife had a pancake that was as big as her plate--she couldn't even eat it all.  But in order to reserve a table, you had to scan a QR code and reserve a table.

Hmmm, again, same question as before.

How's this for an interesting concept: I get why a restaurant owner may want to run their business this way, but in doing so it alienates a segment of the population.  And if you're alienating a segment of the population, what other barriers are you putting in place that hinders an easy buy?

Identifying Weaknesses / Happenings In The Outhouse 30-Aug-2024

"What is your greatest weakness?"

This is a loaded interview question because one doesn't want to admit they have a weakness.

However, if there are weaknesses that you can overcome, all the better.  On one hand, if I had a deep passion to be a top NBA player but I'm only five foot nine and have minimal basketball skills, my chances are pretty much nil.  On the other hand, if I have a fear of public speaking, I can take lessons and work to overcome them.

Sometimes it is difficult to identify your weaknesses.  Ask for feedback and don't get upset by the results.

Speaking of public speaking, I joined Toastmasters through my employer to help with my public speaking skills.  I won't divulge the various ways Toastmasters can help with this, as there are so many aspects of public speaking that one may not be aware of.  One aspect for me is essentially troubling, but it is a task I am willing to overcome with practice.  And Toastmasters helps me with that.

When you look at your weaknesses, try and discover a weakness that is realistic and that you can overcome.  Create baby steps to overcome it, to turn the weakness into either a strength or something that isn't so daunting.

Natural Born / Happenings In The Outhouse 12-April-2024

No one is a "natural born" anything.

Yes, I agree that we're all inclined one way or another when it comes to certain tasks.  Some have innate abilities toward gardening or automotive repair or cooking or carpentry or writing or drawing or whatever else, but no one comes right out of the womb with abilities born in us.

What brings this on was the newest season of Hell's Kitchen on Tubi.  My wife and I watched it, and so many of the aspiring chefs kept saying they were a natural born leader, etc.  No one is a natural born leader.  Or anything else, for that matter.

And if you need to say it out loud, clearly you're not one.

Rant over.

What are some things you naturally aspire to do?

Lessons Learned From Hell's Kitchen / Happenings In The Outhouse 05-Jan-2024

My girlfriend and I have been watching the Gordon Ramsey show Hell's Kitchen for the past few months.  We started with the latest two seasons, 19 and 20, then went back to the beginning.  It is interesting to see how the show has evolved over the years, season after season.

Now, full disclosure, my girlfriend has already seen most seasons of the show, and loves to see my reaction to who eventually wins each season when she knew typically about halfway through the season.  We are currently on season 10, and there are things I notice that each contestant of the show should learn.

Keep in mind, it's a reality TV show, which means it's not real.  Not reality.  Many things are set up for entertainment purposes, so a lot of the drama and back-stabbing I get is not real.

I wrote a blog post almost twelve years ago that delved into this very topic, about learning by watching TV.

Now, what we have learned so far is this:

First: never talk back to Gordon Ramsey.  Never.  No matter what.  Trust me, you'll regret it if you do.

Second: learn to take criticism.  He will call you every name in the book, but you should never take it personally.  He is testing you, to see how well you can take criticism.

Third: work hard and communicate.

Fourth: if you lost a certain challenge and need to do some awful task, do it with dignity and stop complaining.  All you're doing is making yourself look like a whiny prick if you do.  Also, when someone wins a challenge, be happy for them and keep working.

Fifth: if you win a challenge, it doesn't mean you are the absolute best.  And do not gloat over you winning the challenge.

Sixth: tell the truth.  Ramsey wants to hear the truth, short and sweet.

Seventh: stop victim blaming.  The reason a dish or dinner service didn't go as planned is just as much your fault as others.  Take it in the chin and move on.

Eighth: if something isn't the best, do not send it up to Ramsey.  Meaning, if you know something is under or overcooked, tell him immediately.  Communicate!

I'm sure there will be others that come up, but these are the top eight I can think of at the moment.  Now take these lessons into the rest of your life.

P.S.: Rest In Peace Petrozza.

Adapt And Overcome / Happenings In The Outhouse 20-Oct-2023

Everyone meets challenges in life.  It's inevitable.  No one can escape it, despite their position in power, money, status.  If you think people who are filthy rich have it so easy, think again.  They have a host of troubles that others don't encounter.

No, money does not buy happiness.  If you think that's the case, then why are so many rich people getting divorces or committing suicide or . . . well, you get the picture.  Also, do a quick Google search on the unhappy lives of those who win the lottery.

When you meet a challenge, whether it's lack of money or a health issue or an obstacle at work, it's your mindset on how you adapt and overcome it that will set you apart from others.  If you don't have the money to buy the latest (fill in the blank), instead of bitching and complaining about it, ask yourself what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it.

Or, if the said object is even worth it.

If you find yourself always broke, but can always gather up enough to buy Starbucks or cigarettes, then that's where your priorities lie.  If there is a position at work that you want and find yourself wondering why in the hell someone else got it instead of you, then maybe you need to work on something to make yourself better.

Your mindset is what can separate yourself from others.  There is something to say about having a positive mental attitude.  Just saying . . .

The Year Of Concerts--And It Ain't Over Yet / Happenings In The Outhouse 13-Oct-2023

For the past 12 months, my girlfriend Melissa and I have been to a slew of concerts.  Just this month alone, we saw Nickelback last week (with Josh Ross and Brantley Gilbert opening), Cole Swindell yesterday, and tomorrow is Luke Bryan.

Phew!

And next month is Shania Twain.

Going to these concerts have brought me back to my high school days when I dreamed of being a rock star.  Yes, yes, I was that kid.  I recall going to prom my sophomore year and being mesmerized by the live band that was on stage.  I wanted to see what they did and how they did it.  I wanted to watch how they entertained.

Even for movies, I wanted to know how things were done.  I wanted to be the entertainer.

The problem was, I was the shy kid.  I preferred to sit in the back of the class, keep my head down, and pray that the teacher didn't call on me.

As a writer, I can still entertain and that is how I view what I write: pure entertainment.

Podcast Fast To The Next Level / Happenings In The Outhouse 25-Aug-2023

I have noted on this blog that I have trimmed down my podcast feed from time to time.  Well, now it's time to do so again.

This time, however, I need to take it to the next level.

In my individual podcast episode feed, there are over 500 episodes from a variety of podcasts.  About 45 or so podcasts, while there may be another 10 that I will pull individual podcasts out of, depending on the subject matter or who is being interviewed.  And one podcast has over 200 saved episodes that I just haven't gotten around to listening to.

What's important to me?

Although the subject matter may be important to me, the growing list of podcasts allows me to do one thing that erodes my time: procrastination.  Yup, the dreaded P word.  Many people do not ever realize their dream because of procrastination.

As of this posting, I have whittled the podcasts down to the low-20's.

I'm still waiting to pull the trigger on the one with over 200.  Do I go back and remove the oldest episodes?  Or remove it altogether?

Time will tell . . . 

Lessons Learned From Bryan Adams and Joan Jett / Happenings In The Outhouse 14-July-2023

On July 3rd, my girlfriend Melissa and I saw Bryan Adams in concert in the Twin Cities.  Joan Jett opened for him.

It was an amazing concert, and Brian Seltzer even made a surprise appearance for a handful of songs.

One thing we noticed with both artists were the fact that they acknowledged their band.  A lot.  They honored them and made note of the bands they played with throughout the show.

Authors do this all the time in books.  They dedicate the work to someone.  Typically a spouse or significant other.  Even though being a creative artist, one still does not do it alone.  That person may not read or listen to your music or see what you've done, but they still support you.  Or, in the case of Bryan Adams and Joan Jett, they are nothing without the band.

Shake It Off / Happenings In The Outhouse 28-April-2023

You find yourself tossed into the bottom of a well.  Then, shovelful after shovelful of dirt is thrown in.  You are trapped.  What do you do?  Let yourself be buried?  Or use the dirt to rise yourself out of the hole?

In other words, shake it off.

From time to time, things will happen that will throw you off your game.  It happens to everyone.  Shake it off and move on.  Figure out a solution instead of just complaining that nothing can be done.  I heard someone say once, "If you bring me a dead cat, you better bring me a shovel."  In other words, bring a plan for your situation.

When my late wife was diagnosed with leukemia back in April 2011, it would've been easy for me to throw in the towel and say I quit!  But I didn't.  I double-downed on my writing.  When her illness progressed over the years from the side effects of her transplant, I will admit that I had some dark days.  Then, in early 2018, I turned everything over to God.

I did put things in God's hands many times over the years, but for whatever reason that was a turning point for me.  When her illness took a massive turn for the worst in May 2019, leading to eventual passing in January 2020, I did take a step back a bit.  I still wrote, but not as much as before.  I took small steps.  I knew when my head wasn't in the right place.  So I'd take a small break and either watch a show or read.  When I was able to join the local gym, I took solace in improving my overall health.

I looked for solutions.

I shook off things, and moved onward.

Life is never easy.  But it's how you react to it that matters.

Outside The Comfort Zone / Happenings In The Outhouse 17-March-2023

The best way to grow as a person is to do things outside of your comfort zone.

Now, this may seem easy for one to say, but not so easy to action.  Unless you make it a habit.  Make a habit of going outside your comfort zone.  My girlfriend and I go on frequent date nights--at least once a week, if possible.  When we go to a restaurant, I look for something I haven't had before.  One of our favorite restaurants in a nearby town I have had most items on the menu.  We have also gone to a variety of concerts, from heavy metal to country western.  Now, honestly, country isn't my thing, but I do love music in general.  And those country artists I have seen have certainly put on a great show.

Last week, we went to see the 80's heavy metal band Skid Row.  They have a new lead singer, Erik Gronwall, who was absolutely amazing!  I vividly recall the first time I listened to Skid Row with their former singer Sebastian Bach.  I didn't think the new guy would hold up to Bach.  Boy, was I wrong!

Even my current work-in-progress is outside of my comfort zone.  It is a middle grade novel and there are times I want to add something but given the potential audience I write it a little differently.  I'm not writing down to the audience--that's a huge no-no in my book, no pun intended.

I am also on the church council of the church I attend.  This is my second year and this year I am on a committee that is allowing me to stretch as a Christian.  At work, I am intentionally doing things that are outside of my comfort zone to stretch my mental muscles.

Find areas that give you pause and go forth with gusto!  If you've never gone grocery shopping, do it.  If you've never flown on an airplane, do it.  If you've always wanted to write a book, what's stopping you?  In the words of Nike . . . just do it!

Handling Negativity / Happenings In The Outhouse 10-March-2023

I read a blog post the other day and came across this saying:

How true this is, for some people to always come up with problems to potential solutions.

I run into this daily at my day job, when there are possible solutions and all the feedback one can give them is negative in nature.

What are your first thoughts when a solution is presented to you?  In what light do you see it?  Do you see the possibilities or all the ways it can fail?

Stupid Questions and Brain Farts / Happenings In The Outhouse 03-March-2023

"Can I ask you a stupid question?"

For me, the stupidest question is the one that's never asked.  I've held this notion for as far back as I can remember.  I've had numerous people come up to me, asking if they could ask a stupid question.  I always respond back in kind, repeating my mantra of what the stupidest question is.

99 times out of 100, the question is actually quite profound and I tell them so.  The look of shock makes me chuckle.

But what about the 1 time?  The 1 time out of 100 when the question is, what one would consider, stupid?  I keep that to myself.  I never tell them that the question could be considered stupid.  It could just be a brain fart--when you know the answer, but can't quite remember.  And just because I may feel it is stupid doesn't mean it is.  Ask it anyway.

Be brave to ask questions.  I maybe don't do it enough myself.  My method of learning is to sit back and let the knowledge soak into me like a water into a sponge.

So go ahead and ask your questions.

Just because you may think they're stupid doesn't mean someone else isn't wondering the same and is afraid to ask.

The Past Isn't Always Your Future / Happenings In The Outhouse 06-Jan-2023

"I'm always bad at math!"

Or fill in math with something else.  Listen to what you're telling yourself.

Listen for the word . . . "always."

If always is followed by something negative, stop thinking about it.  Strive to think the exact opposite.  I recently had a conversation with a younger person who said they were always bad at math because their Dad was bad at math, so therefore they will always be bad at math.  I wanted so bad to reach across and yank the word "bad" and "always" from their mouth.

Then, I tested this person on some flash cards.  Out of two hundred, this person got . . . three wrong.  That's it.  Just three.  And it was multiplying large numbers too.

If you find yourself saying that you're bad at something, do something to fix it.  Or remedy it in a way in your favor.  For myself, I'm not much of a DIY person and would rather hire someone to do a job professionally.  The time spent on other tasks I know I'm good at, to help pay for those who are good at other tasks, is time well spent.

But if I truly had to, I could figure out a way.

Because there always is a way.

You Are No Mick Mars / Happenings In The Outhouse 16-Dec-2022

First, a quick update on my work-in-progress.  In the past month, I have doubled my word count.  It is over 44,000 words.  I am slating to finish by January 2023.

In late October 2022, Mick Mars, the guitarist for the heavy metal band Motley Crue, announced his retirement from touring with the band due to a medical condition he has been battling for several decades.  The next day, a guitarist named John 5 was named as Mars's replacement in the upcoming tour.

People love nostalgia.  If you don't believe me, watch the skyrocketing popularity of Stranger Things and everything 1980's.

People also love things to remain the same.  Bands to remain the same, authors to remain the same, companies to remain the same.  Even life in general, people crave it to remain the same.

But like everything, change is inevitable.

I am not familiar with John 5 and I can imagine people saying to him, "You are no Mick Mars" and dismissing him.

If that is the case, you are a fool.  Go to YouTube and search videos of John 5.  He is an amazing guitarist.  Rarely does a band have the same lineup for their entire career span.  And in reading John 5's bio, I am super impressed.

No, he isn't Mick Mars.

Then again, he shouldn't be.

And you shouldn't be whomever you are trying to imitate.

I'm not Stephen King, Rowling, Patterson, or Grisham.