Make Change A Habit / Happenings In The Outhouse 18-March-2022

Life is full of changes.

When my late wife got her cancer diagnosis in April 2011, it turned our world upside-down.  Life was an endless series of doctors appointments, trips to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester (a 382 mile trip, one way), and the extra financial burden on top of it.  And then it was juggling events with three young kids.  Upon her return home in December 2011, what we could do seemed limited.

In March 2020, a virus took the world by storm, changing the way business was done.  My employer implemented a work-from-home model, something completely unheard of from them until that point.  Now, two years later, my employer is having the working from home folks return to the office on a hybrid model basis, part at home and part in the office.  Changes.  Many changes and unknowns.  A number of people were not happy about it, but, when you examine it closely, it depends largely on how you handle change.

In June 2020, I joined the local gym.  I had wanted to join for quite some time, but I could not afford it in terms of time and money prior to that point.  Now, I go there 5-6 times a week on average, and I love it.  It's a way of me getting out of the house and doing something to physically improve my health.

Most times, I am alone and can plan my workouts ahead of time.  But when I have something in mind, let's say I had a weights day previously and planned on a strict cardio day on the treadmill, and all of a sudden there are people in the gym and all of the treadmills are taken, what do I do?  I change my plans.

I have made change a habit.  Yes, my first reaction on change is a slight WTF moment, but it quickly subsides.

I urge you to make change a habit.  If you do the same thing all the time, you don't grow as a person.  Change is what makes us better.

Ricky Gervais and After Life (Netflix) / Happenings In The Outhouse 29-May-2020

About a month ago, I noticed that a Ricky Gervais show on Netflix called After Life came out with its second season.

In early January 2020, I told my wife Melissa about Ricky's monologue as he hosted the Golden Globes.  Here's a link to the entire monologue, which is quite hilarious.  Unless you're a Hollywood snob.  Which, in that case, you may be offended and will probably storm off into the corner to pout.  Anyway, after telling her about what he said near the end, she chuckled, smiled, and said, "I've always thought he was funny."

Hard to believe now on the timing, but she passed roughly ten days later.

Back to After Life.  I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but I wanted something short and light.  Each season had six episodes, and they were less than 30 minutes each.  Perfect.  I wasn't in the right mind for anything less.

It didn't take long for the show to hit me right in the gut.  You see, the main character, played by Gervais, had just lost his wife from cancer.  He was dealing with grief.  Now, as a recent widower, I know that grief takes many forms.  And what Gervais did in After Life was brilliant.  The acting and writing was remarkable, and the storylines took me to places I didn't quite expect--and that's a good thing.  Stories should do that, to be more effective.  I won't spoil anything here.  You have to watch it for yourself.

It didn't take long for me to finish both seasons.  I shed quite a few tears, while at the same time laughed my butt off.  I'm giving myself a little breather before I watch the show again.

And again.

Thank you Ricky.

The new normal is simply change / Happenings In The Outhouse 24-April-2020

There's been a lot of talk lately about the current events surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic being the new normal.  Many people are working from home, more people are cooking at home instead of going to restaurants, families are watching more movies at home because the theaters are closed, and people who live under the same roof are doing more things together.

Why is this the new normal?  Why should a pandemic have caused families and loved ones to do things together?

I view this new way of doing things as change.  When my wife and I got married, that was change.  We had to adapt to a new normal of married life.  Then the same thing occurred when we had kids.  Every life change is simply that.  Change.

April 2011 was a major change when my late wife was diagnosed with leukemia.

Then, last year, on May 19th, our family had to adapt to a new normal as my late wife started going downhill health-wise.  And of course my world turned completely upside-down when she passed on January 16th of 2020.

A new normal for me?  Sure.

I call it change.  Get used to change.  Change happens.

Check Your Attitude / Happenings In The Outhouse 16-June-2017

It disheartens me when I hear people say, "OMG, 2017 absolutely sucks!"  Or, replace 2017 with 2016.  I've heard it all before.  The only thing that changes is the year.

Today's post is about one's attitude and how your attitude affects your life.  One can always find something bad . . . if that's all they're looking for.

Let me tell you right now, 2011 freaking sucked for my family and I.  But there were lessons learned and events that have a profound affect, even to this day.

In January 2011, within two days of each other, our van was taken away for repossession and we received foreclosure papers on our home.  I wasn't even a month into a new leadership position at my job and already things took a turn for the worst.  Fast forward a month, the van was back and the house was no longer in foreclosure land.

But wait!  There's more!

On April 11th, my wife was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML).  She spent the bulk of 2011 in Rochester, MN, at the Mayo Clinic.  I took over 20 trips down to visit her.  Around Christmas, a good friend of mine was complaining and being all bah-humbug.  And he had absolutely nothing to complain about!  He didn't go through anything like what our family went through.  Now, I could've acted like this too.

But I didn't.  I was thankful my wife was still around and healing.  Fast forward to today, she's still not 100%.

I came across a YouTube video my sister-in-law put together after a benefit in May 2011.  I watched it numerous times years ago, but it had been a while.  Watching it again, and seeing all of the people present, brought back a host of emotions.

One of those emotions was thankfulness.  I was thankful for all those who helped.  I am also thankful for all that happened in 2011.

Surviving, one year later / Happenings In The Outhouse 26-Feb-2016

It's been roughly a year since my medical mishap.  To recap, please see these two posts: Wake up call and When life feels like an episode of House.

In October 2015, I went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, to review my MRI scans that were done at another clinic.  Needless to say, I am an oddball.  No, seriously.  I had a consultation with a neurologist who had been practicing for over 40 years, and he had never seen anything like mine.

In a nutshell, I have a blood vessel that runs through a section of my brain that controls the left side of my body.  When I had taken a medication last February and experienced an allergic reaction, it affected that spot.

Hence, the seizure.

I am still here.

I am still writing.

I am still publishing.

I am surviving.  Still.

I do this while jugging housework, caregiving, and even taking time to keep myself healthy.  I am planning a weekly post (I'm thinking Mondays instead of these Friday posts) geared towards those writers in the same boat as myself.

Stay tuned . . .

Happenings In The Outhouse 10-Jan-2014 / Writing more (and blogging less)

This past weekend, I had to take an emergency trip to Rochester, MN.  Very unexpected, although with my wife's recovery and having graft vs. host attack her eyes--something she's been dealing with for almost two years now--it should really be expected.

Needless to say, I wasn't able to get my usual blogs up this week.  Then, I thought about it: why do I need to blog three days a week?  There are plenty of authors I know who don't.  Some blog more often and some who blog once a week at best--sometimes even less.

Honestly, I love blogging.  I feel I have the freedom to say whatever I want, write about what I want, and help a lot of people along the way achieve their dreams.

My big push for 2014 is to publish more.  And, with that, I may have to blog less.  I will still try get out my Friday "Happenings In The Outhouse", but if I miss one here or there, it's not going to kill me.

I've been diligently working on Shadowkill this week, editing, editing, editing.  My goal is to within the next 2 months to be able to publish it.

Happenings In The Outhouse 18-Oct-2013 / New stuff and a quick trip to boot

I've written 2200+ words on a new short story so far--this is as of Tuesday morning.  But wait, why not more?

Tuesday afternoon, I took my wife down to the Mayo Clinic in Rochster, MN, for another eye appointment with her cornea specialist.  She has to do again next week for further check-ups as her other eye is starting to erode.  We were back in our home work late Wednesday evening.

Aside from the short story, I am preparing for the second novel in the Central Division thriller series.  This one is titled Straight Razor.  I will keep you posted on how well that one's turning out.  I will post daily updates on my Twitter page - @marksrpeterson.

Also, I will begin editing my alternative history military novel Shadowkill.  Nope, no grass is growing under my feet.

Happenings In The Outhouse 04-Oct-2013 / Hope

I started writing this blog post late Wednesday night, for my wife and I had just returned from a recent trip to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.  With the raging debate over debt ceilings and affordable healthcare and government shutdowns, I just shook my head and concentrated on our own little world.

To make a long story short, my wife has been having eye problems and in the middle of this summer she had a cornea transplant.  Her eyes started healing until close to a month ago when the doctor discovered some residual problems.  She was scheduled for an appointment Tuesday morning.  After the initial exam, my wife Melissa asked if her eyes were getting better.

"No," the doctor said.

Not what we wanted to hear.  However, we already knew it to be true.

That night, she had an emergency cornea transplant--her second one in a little over 2 months.  Because of it, we had to spend an extra day at the Mayo.  I didn't mind.  I'll do anything for the love of my life, the reason I write.

Gabriel's Hope is getting closer to publication.  I'm in the middle of the final edits, then I have to finalize the cover art.

Happenings In The Outhouse 12-Jul-2013 / Busy times

Busy times abound!

Between writing and a recent surgery for my wife, I have to say, "Life sure ain't boring!"

First and foremost, my wife has been having eye complications since around October 2011.  Lately, though, they have gotten worse as she developed an ulcer in her eye.  Long story short, Tuesday this week she had a partial cornea transplant--she's still in pain, but it will subside and she'll be able to see better.  This all stems--no pun intended--from her stem cell transplant on September 1, 2011 to help cure her Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

Fingers crossed, she's still in remission . . . and on the road to improved health.

For writing, I'm literally in the middle of three writing projects.  I am working on the final-final edits to Beholder's Eye.  The main edits were done late last year, but I re-read it again as well as had a beta reader go through it, and I'm fixing a few minor mistakes.  Other than that, I'll good with it.  I'll still wait for the small press to finish looking at it, and if they pass on it . . . well, then it's off to the Kindle store!

Next is the major revision of a . . . horror novel, a small-time zombie apocalyptic novel I wrote years ago and am completely re-writing it.  I'm only on the first three chapters, and so far they're turning out great.

Lastly is the online class I'm participating in by Brandon Sanderson on the Write About Dragons.com site, and it's the 2013 Summer Class.  It's great fun, and so far I'm learning a lot.

And of course, I have to mention that my novelette Guest of Honor is available on the Kindle store for $1.99.  It's a suspenseful thriller that crosses the lines of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the serial killer Ed Gein.  Please pick it up by clicking on this link, and when you get a moment, I'd be grateful if you'd write a review.

Happenings In The Outhouse 05-Jul-2013 / Cancer and Critics

This has been a whirlwind week--and it has nothing to do with it being Independence Day yesterday.

Monday morning I completed my inspirational novella tentatively titled "Sorry, Lord."  It turned out better than I expected, and for now it's going to sit in the digital drawer while I work on other projects.  Currently, it's a little over 15K words, which means technically it's a novelette (SFWA rules dictate novellas start at 17,500 words).  But, after I start editing it, it'll be well over the 17.5K mark.

I'm also submitting writing to an online class taught by Brandon Sanderson called Write About Dragons.com  Besides the online lessons, writers are asked to submit a piece of original writing every week and critique four other writers' writings.  I'm having a blast reading all the new stories, and I'm even loving the critiques I've been receiving.  Some good and some not-so-good.  Doesn't matter.  I want to grow much better as a writer and I want the harsh critics.  A few don't like my present tense style, but have backed it up with a note that it's a personal preference.  I'm learning, and that's all that matters.

Cancer sucks.  Let's make no bones about it.  Virtually everyone knows someone who has been struck down by cancer in one form or another.  Our family, up until roughly two years ago, seemed to be pretty well immune to it--aside from two grandfathers, one who battled leukemia and lost while the other battled prostate and won.  For now.  There are other shirt-tail relatives, but by and large it didn't seem to affect us greatly.

Until two years ago.

My wife was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Long story short, she's still in remission (thank God!) but has had other complications.  Namely with her eyes.  She is legally blind and is fighting to keep the sight she has left.  On the day of this posting, we'll be in Rochester, MN at the Mayo Clinic for another appointment to check her eyes.

Cancer sucks.  This week, a guy my wife met when she was battling her leukemia lost his battle with leukemia Wednesday.  He was in his mid-twenties and fought more than anyone I know.

Yeah, cancer sucks.  I just wish Bill Gates would funnel some of the money he's using to make new toilets or battle malaria (yes, all worthy causes) and help battle cancer.  I understand it's a complicated battle.  But I do believe it's one we can win.

Then one day we can all cheer: RIP CANCER!

Live as if it's your last

Tragedies can befall us.

As we speak, tornadoes have ravaged Oklahoma.  Do you think they're worried about the rising gas prices?  Or some recent acts in Congress?

Probably not.

What about the recent victims of the Boston Marathon?  What do you think is on their mind?

There's a guy I know who's not only in his mid-20's, he's also battling leukemia . . . for the fourth time!  His wife and he met my wife two years ago when they were down at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

Some things seem trivial in light of other tragic events.  For the past 3-4 days, much of Minnesota and North Dakota were rained pretty heavily upon.  I got a small amount of water in my basement, but I'm not complaining.  Things could be worse.  My wife, despite a constant battle with her eyes, is still in remission from her leukemia.

Things could be worse.

Tornadoes.  Floods.  Cancer.  Murder.  Suicide.

Yup.  It could be a lot worse.  I may not be happy about paying more at the gas pump, but life could be worse.  If everyone was to live as if it's their last, what kind of day would they serve?

What could they accomplish?

And for the writers and artists out there, what kind of art could we make?

When life throws you a curveball, do this!

It's easy not to do something when life gets you down.  But in the long haul, you're going to suffer.

In other words, when life throws you a curveball . . . DO SOMETHING!

Two years ago, my wife Melissa was diagnosed with acute myleoid leukemia.  The next day, we found ourselves 372 miles away from our hometown down to Rochester, Minnesota, home of the world-famous Mayo Clinic.  The long and the short of it: they saved her life.

In those two years, I could've sat back and just done nothing.  But I didn't.  I started this blog just prior to her diagnosis, and within those two years started looking for ways to take writing to a serious level--I had always wanted to be a successful writer before, but for some reason things didn't start clicking into place.  I had already written five novels and over a dozen short stories, but could just never seem to get traction on them.

But I kept working at them.

I kept writing.

In the end, I did something.  I moved forward.  I will admit, life is hard.  Just punch it in the face and move on.  In the words of the great philospher El Nike: "JUST DO IT!"

Happenings In The Outhouse 20-July-2012 / Kindle promotions for my ebook

Despite spending all day Monday and Tuesday down in Rochester, MN, for my wife's scheduled leukemia appointments, I still completed chapters 34-36.

Next up is chapters 37-39.

It's been a busy week, albeit a productive one.  I wrote both Saturday and Sunday, got blog posts written and scheduled, due to the impending time away from home, then while I was listening to a podcast (I believe it was Mur Lafferty's I Should Be Writing), I heard mention of another podcast: Adventures In Sci Fi Publishing.  I downloaded a few of their episodes and as I was listening to one, they talked about the pros and cons of doing promotions on Amazon's Kindle site.

I knew I could do promotions, but never really knew how.  Until late Sunday night.  Hence, a flurry of blog posts and promotions began for my ebook titled 99 ways to have a Memorable Wedding on a Shoestring Budget.  Today is the last day to get this ebook . . . for FREE!  While I was in Rochester, I posted a lot of stuff on Facebook and Twitter, promoting it like crazy, and it's sold (for free) quite well so far.

Happenings in the Outhouse 22-June-2012 / Can't say I have nothing to do

This week, I've been delving deeper and deeper into chapters 28-30.  I've even taken out large chunks of the story which didn't seem to add any to the story but at the time I wrote them I wanted them in.  Funny how that is, that you may love something you wrote so long ago, only to find that it doesn't enhance your story at all.

I will note here that although chapter 30 is fairly short at three pages, chapter 29 (I take on a different POV entirely, delving into a possible suspect and his past) is eleven.  My average page length is around six pages.  This is not a hard and fast rule for me (James Patterson is the King of the Short Chapter - whereas almost 100% of his chapters are 2-3 pages - I might add I did read a 5 page chapter once and nearly fell off my chair).

On Wednesday was our writers' group meeting--our writers' group is called Permanent Ink--but no one was able to be around for it except me.  Our group has been together, in our small community, for nine years now.  Only two of us remain from the original group, and what an eclectic sort we've had in that time, from world-class poets and playwrights to Christian inspirational writers and fantasy novelists.  All of us have aspired towards publication, and the other original member Evelyn has had numerous smaller pieces published, along with a weekly column in our local newspaper and is a very accomplished speaker.  The past few sessions we've discussed either self-publishing her work or finding an agent/publisher.  She has a mountain of material that I know would make her a smashing success.

Speaking of writers, I want to add this cute little video.  My daughter wrote a little story called "When Mom Came Back" which was inspired by her mother finally coming home after spending most of last year in Rochester, MN, battling Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Enjoy!

A spouse can help an artist have a life

Last year, with my wife down in Rochester, MN, battling acute myeloid leukemia, and me back at home taking care of our three children, I didn't do much except work, write, visit my wife every 2-3 weeks on the weekends (a 7-8 hour trip, one-way, mind you), and take care of my children.

When the kids were in bed, I wrote.  A lot.  Aside from that, I didn't do much else in the way of extra-curricular activities (okay, we did end up remodeling some of the house by taking out the carpet, etc, so that ate up much of the weekend time, and I also did the housework too--of what the kids weren't able to do).  One chore I got out of was mowing the lawn; our local boy scout troop helped us out in this regard, and kept our lawn neat and trimmed all summer long.  I usually like mowing, but then, with all the other chores to do, that was one job I was deeply thankful for the scout troop and leaders that they did.

The one thing I notice now that my wife is home is this: she helps me to have a life outside of my writing.

Spouses know when you need to work, and know when it's time to take a break.  It's good to have a break, because it rejuvenates your mental batteries.  And, sure, there are times when I'm diligently writing and I'm interrupted by my wife asking to solve some problem with the kids or to help her find something or to help wash clothes or vacuum the living room rug . . . or any number of things.  I'm usually irritated by the cessation of my work, but it's funny that during my assistance, I work out mentally the problem I'm writing about . . . and a new insight is shown.  Not all the time, but more times than not, I'm blessed by this vision.

Spouses, and children, also serve a deeper purpose for the artist.  They serve as the reason you are doing it.  If I didn't have a wife and family, and was living off somewhere all by myself, I'd be writing all the time.  But what would I be writing?  Even before we got married, my writing took on a life of its own, because I knew that I wanted to provide a better life than what a normal job could entail.  Prior to this, I didn't have any purpose, other than wanting to be rich and famous.

Future of book signings in this new e-publishing world

While in Rochester last week, running to get my wife something to eat while she waited to get her blood taken--her next appointment was looming close on the horizon at that point, and we didn't want to risk missing it on account of filling our bellies--a thought occurred to me (as sometimes thoughts do when I'm not in a convenient place to write it down): with the advent of e-publishing, how will author book signings be affected?

I thought this as I was driving up to the Apache Mall, with the Barnes & Noble store right along the front, next to the food court.  A Minnesota author, Amanda Hocking (who ironically lives not far from Rochester), had a book signing in the B&N store a few months prior.  I was in Rochester the week prior and was unable to attend the signing.  Anyway, when I thought of this and mixed it in with my thoughts on the ever-changing world of e-publishing, how would book signings be handled?

An author can't really sign an ebook, can he/she?

This, of course, when I'm also thinking of my own ebook 99 Ways To Have A Memorable Wedding On A Shoestring Budget.

Not sure if I have any answers at this point.  I might have to inquire with Seth Godin for some always-insightful wisdom.

Happenings in the Outhouse 25-May-2012 / A productive week

This week has been a productive one, despite my having taken a quick two-day trip to Rochester for my wife's appointments for her AML.

I finished editing chapter 24 early on in the week, bringing my percentage done to 59%.

As I have already been re-hashing chapter 25, I've refined it even more and should be close to getting it completed.

Chapters 26-27 are two very short chapters: 26 is a total of 2 pages and 27 is three.  Way too short, for my likes, and I'm working on beefing it up.

What a difference a year makes

"You have Acute Myeloid Leukemia."

Oddly enough, this news that my wife received about her health didn't come to her as a shock.  She expected it.

"Okay," she said, "that's what I thought.  Now what do we do?"

The doctor, exactly one year ago today, was probably in more of a shock that Melissa knew that she had AML and was prepared to deal with it.  A few weeks prior to this, she had been doctoring back and forth, eliminating the most common ailments and narrowing the list down.

During this time, she had a stack of medical book two feet high at home, and used them to study her various blood tests.  She told me once, "I think I have leukemia."

Always trying to remain positive, I told her that it must be something else, but she wouldn't hear of it.  The only question for her was whether it was acute or chronic myeloid leukemia.

And she said, "If it's the acute, we'll need to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester."

In the end, that's exactly what we did.

I spent many weekends, probably almost two dozen trips in all, going to Rochester with our three kids to visit Melissa.  Although she hit many roadblocks along the way, she plowed through them.  It'll still be a long process, but we're prepared for anything.

Can't believe how one can grow in a year.

How much one can learn.

And appreciate the little things more and more . . .

How do you handle problems?

I'll be the first to admit that there are times I don't handle problems very well.  I may fly-off-the-handle and cuss, but then there are times when I remain calm.

I'm working on increasing the times I'm the latter vs. the former.

Last year was a testament to how I was able to handle problems.  It all started in January with our catastrophic financial events.  We worked through them but not without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears--we worked our butts off!  Then, in April, when my wife was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and spent the bulk of the remaining year in Rochester, MN, at the Mayo Clinic, I have to admit: being a single father (temporarily) really stunk.  2012 so far is turning out to be on the right track, but it still has it's valleys between the hills.  We still have financial problems (debt, in other words) but have a plan to eliminate them for good.  It's still a long road, and are sure some of the mega-banks are going to try mess with it, but with the tools my wife and I have learned through Dave Ramsey we're going to survive.

Then, when my laptop took a dump last week, I came close to flying off the handle again . . . but remained calm and came up with a plan to alleviate the problem, even temporarily.  And what really stunk is that I have an ebook coming out (for details, go to my Mr. Shoestring blog and click on the "ebook" tab) very, very soon and I'm hoping this doesn't delay it.

How do you handle problems?

When the ones too big to fail should fail

I'm not going to preach about the financial debacle of three-plus years ago, not am I going to get political here.

That's not the purpose of this blog.

But what I'm going to point out is that there comes a point in some organizations, when they become a large enough entity, that the mere mention of their name holds a weight.  This goes with anything from banks and manufacturers to non-profit organizations and hospitals.  Anything that gets large enough seems to act on its own accord, completely mindless of their original purpose.

And in doing so, they lose some of their personal touch, their caring, their looking at events or situations from another person's point of view.

When was the last time you honestly went into a major retail store and actually enjoyed the experience.  It's rare.

An incident occurred to us around the middle of November that completely changed my view of a certain organization.  A misunderstanding by some underworked and probably under-educated manager caused a great deal of hardship for us.

I'm not going into the details, and I'm not going to name this particular organization by name--although I really, really want to--and what really makes me upset is the purpose of this organization is a great one, one that's helped many at a low point in their lives.

I believe a bit of formal management training could've saved a lot of heartache, so I strongly urge those leaders of these gigantic organizations to make sure the proper people training is done at all levels.  Especially one that involves the responsibility of so many lives.

Because I'm going to find it very difficult to donate to this particular organization when their annual events come up.