Example of micro-level editing

The following is an example of micro-level editing, from one paragraph in my thriller Beholder's Eye.

            As the eldest child, Claudia Raynes has grown quite accustomed to her Dad’s weird work schedules.  She remembers when he worked vampire hours: work at night and sleep in the day.  He finally switched to a normal day shift when she was in the first grade.  Now, with his new job, he’s back to a weird work schedule again.  Not vampire hours, but even worse ones, longer ones, depending on what type of case he’s working on.

And here is the finished product, after micro-level editing:

            As the eldest child, Claudia Raynes remembers when her Dad worked vampire hours: work at night and sleep in the day.  He finally switched to a normal day shift when she was in the first grade, and has grown quite accustomed to it over the years.  Now, with his new job, he’s back to a different work schedule.  Not vampire hours, mind you, but even longer ones, depending on what type of case he’s working on.

See how much more smoothly it is?  The main issue I had was that Claudia, in the first paragraph, had grown accustomed to her father's work schedules, but he hadn't worked the nightshift for several years.  Why would be accustomed to them, if they were so long ago?  She would be accustomed to him working a normal day shift.