If you remember yesterday's blog, I gave a quick example of showing vs. telling from the 25th chapter of Beholder's Eye. Let's continue that today as well.
Let's start with the former paragraph one and two (partials of each, as I combine them into the second paragraph).
. . . The room is lit by a dozen or more candles on either side of her, revealing the lack of decorum along the bare paneled walls.
Even without the candles, the room feels confined. The bed is in the center of the room, with a foot or so of clearance from each wall and possibly twice that at the foot.
Yuck, right? Practically a blue-print of where the bed was in conjection with the rest of the room. I have since re-written it to be the following:
The room is lit by a dozen or more candles on either side of her, revealing the lack of decorum along the bare paneled walls. Even so, the room feels confined. Like she's stuck in a coffin. If she could stretch her arms to the side, she'd almost be able to touch the walls.
A lot better. Not perfect, and probably not the final draft at this point, but you get the idea.